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The race is on.
Not a chase this time. But a race, against time.
As some of you know, we’ve been pondering and praying. {And all of you pals, thank you so much for your support and prayers, they help SO much!} And we have decided and been given the all clear, the go ahead – against all odds and against the tide of normal.
We are going back.
I hesitate to post this as I know it will bring a tsunami of opinion; some welcome, some, not so much. But this is not being done to court opinion and favor. This is going to be done, in hope and faith and trust, with a little bit of fear and the usual fretting. But it is going to be done stepping out in trust instead of holding back in fear. {And yeah, now you know why I’ve been sort of obsessing in my recent posts…it’s all about me and my stream of consciousness folks!}
That’s no small thing. This is bundled up in fears and caveats. Boatloads of research: professionals, texts, personal experiences. But we have chosen to not live our lives in fear: intellectually, emotionally, or (and most importantly) spiritually. We choose to live in the light of faith. And our faith tells us that this is right. Not that this will be easy. Not that this might not be very hard. But that it is right. And there, in the right, in the faith and trust and effort, there is where we will find the joy.
Why? Many ask, and will ask, and have.
Why not? We say.
(And yes, there are many reasons why not. But again, where do those lie?)
So. We are going back. We have started the paper chase again. For a girl, in Ethiopia. We met her. She is twelve. Special circumstances. And that makes it not a chase, but this time, a race. Against time. For her. Not because she is ill, but because at her age, each day away from a family makes it all harder. Because she has been through enough and needs to land safely.
She does not know about this yet. She cannot. It is not allowed yet. She will be asked and told about us after our Immigration approval/update comes back again.
I have really struggled with who and when and how to tell people this time. Because this time it is so different, with an older child, one we met. This time the reactions are muted, tending toward the ‘deer in the headlights’ look and a short “oh.” And those are the good reactions. Sigh. So I tire of bracing myself for that. Because, hey, I’m shallow, and I like the happy, excited response! But I’ve decided, w/ Coffeedoc’s encouragement, to go ahead and tell people. Because we are committed. We are in. And we are not in for what people think anyhow. And it is exciting.
So we are going to embrace our joy, our excitement, because there will be joy in this. We are going to be excited when we can. And it’s fun to shout the news and if people don’t understand or agree: ok.
We covet your prayers, beg for them, if you pray. We count on all the support we can get. We are not proud, we are informed, we are probably fools. We know. But. When you feel such a pull, such endless bricks and nudges….what else can you do? For us. Nothing but this: step forward. One step at a time. And embrace it, all.
On your mark, get set, go!
Another Espresso, Please 
>Congratulations!!!!!!
>I am so happy! I am so excited! You conintue to show us the power of faith and love and all the possibilities it holds for us if we can trust in it! Wow! I am going back to read your post again!! You have my prayers, with every step.Rebecca
>Thanks Rebecca! I KNOW you get it, I think we would have much to talk about! We’ll take your prayers, gratefully!
>Amazing and wonderful, and yet not surprising! For someone who is still a kindergartner (me) on the faith front, I am still so amazed at what faith and prayer can do. I will pray for you, your family, and for your newest addition. I look forward to following your newest adventure.
>You know I’m behind you every step of the way. You are wrapped in our prayers. This leap will be blessed! LOVE! becca
>Congratulations!! I can’t wait to learn more about your future daughter. I had to be reminded on more than one occasion duing this adoption journey of ours to “Be Not Afraid.” The decision to adopt was very hard for me and I wrestled with having the faith and trust to move forward. I finally came to realize that if this is God’s will I needed to step back and just trust. It is amazing the peace that God has given me since deciding to move forward. We are now on the waiting list with Gladney. Here’s a great quote from Mother Angelica speaking towards this idea of just trusting:” Faith is one foot on the ground, one foot in the air, and a queasy feeling in the stomach. You don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but you know that His Presence and His Providence rise before the dawn, and that’s all you need to know.”You remain in our prayers, Ryane
>Oh!!! … I’ve been SO waiting for this post!!! 🙂 Tears of joy for you. You can count on us to pray you there and back, my friend. Rejoicing with you, because with obedience comes joy … the joy that cannot be bought. Cannot wait for updates. Much love, Shelly
>CONGRATULATIONS!I write this with so much joy and admiration! I am just overwhelmed with happiness for all of you. You are all in our thoughts and prayers!!Enjoy this moment… the moment when you follow your heart, that “pull”, and just know that it is all meant to be. You were meant to meet her and she was meant to be your daughter. WOW! Tears of joy. Again, I say congratulations! Embrace your joy and have comfort that your faith has guided you to her.
>A quick note to let you know you are in my prayers. Godspeed, my friend,Jane
>I’m just a lurker, but wanted to congratulate you on your decision. I can empathize, as I’ve had the same kind of pushback you mention in the discussion of my second adoption. This is your family, though. You know who is supposed to join you. Go get her!
>Hi, I just found you through Rebecca’s blog. Reading this has given me the goose bumps. How incredibly exciting, wonderful, stupendous, and fantastic. Congratulations to you. May your road back to your daughter be a smooth one.
>Yay!!! I just read in Galatians (like 5 minutes ago) this:Am I trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.Thanks, Paul. I think it’s wonderful. The best investment of all our time, resources and energy, is people. Though our culture says that my best investment of my time, energy and resources is in me, I know that is not true. Your time, energy and resources are well spent. Congratulations.
>Hi,I left a comment earlier but I don’t think it went through for some reason. Just wanted to say congratulations! Know that your family and your sweet girl in ET remain in our prayers. Ryane
>Go, Mama, go Mama, go Mama, GO!
>Congratulations!! Best wishes and good luck!!!
>How exciting! Real faith often takes risks, doesn’t it? I can’t wait to follow your journey and see God’s power as you work through the details ahead. Congratulations!
>Faith, trust, and effort- that says it all M! That’s what it’s all about! I will continue to pray for your family, and I just know this is God’s work, and you are on the right path! Congratulations, I can’t wait to follow your journey!!!!!!
>Praise God for He is good!! So good!! Thank you Jesus for giving your daughter a forever family! So proud of you for being obedient. Can’t wait to follow the journey.
>I am awed by the post! Congratulations and thank you for being an awesome example of listening when He speaks.Ellen
>No deer in the headlights look here. I’m pretty sure my eyes filled with tears. I’m so excited for you and your family! It’s a blessing to have another addition to the family. My mom always said that God gives you children as a blessing – not to punish you 🙂 Can’t wait to see her sweet face.
>Yay! This IS exciting!!! Woo hoo! For everyone involved. When God calls you down a path, well, you know the rest…love and prayer…
>Oh, Michele! I’m thrilled to read this news! I’ve been thinking about you and this decision for awhile now (please forgive me for losing touch – things are still kind of nuts around here and most days leave little time for luxuries such as emailing dear friends). I just knew in my heart that this was going to work out for you. Yeah!
>Hey, I’d do it again in a heart beat and I’d go with an older child too. With 4 (ages 6 and under), I doubt I’ll convince DH anytime soon. (but God/Conscience might)Hope all goes well!Jan
>Oh how wonderful….many congrats and prayers for this journey you are on!
>Many prayers going out, for a speedy process! How awesome for you all. I understand about not being sure when/who to tell… but it always boggles my mind. When is a child not a blessing?Our son came at 9 with heavy medical issues, and I thank God every day for the gift of him!
>Continue to step out in FAITH for we know that FAITH is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things NOT yet seen.It is the LORD who has plans for this to come about and I praise HIM that you are obediant to HIS voice!Our PRAYERS go before you into the throne room — it is well!!!!
>Just found your bog from another mom. Cool about your new daughter! We are adopting again too. It’s always a thrill and a blessing.Juleebride to Mikemommy to many (22 so far)including from Ethiopiawaiting for two more wee ones from there…http://stillwaterjulee.blogspot.com/
>I’m so very excited for you and wish your family all the very best. May His blessings overflow as you faithfully answer His call to bring this precious child home.
>So So excited for you!!!! That is such great news and hey…why not! What wonderful news!!!
>Coffeemom,Congratulations! I was surprised to read the good news (I didn’t see it coming!). I can’t wait to hear about your journey! That girl is lucky to be entering into a faith-filled family such as yours. I am Catholic, too, but you put me to shame! I wish I knew you and your family in person! You are all amazing?Love and prayers,Colleen
>Congratulations!I understand. We have been home nine days with our first children, Tsion (age 10) and her brother, Miheret (age 13). They are a delight, and it was the best decision we have ever made.Wishing you a FAST race!Sarah, Kevin, Miheret, and Tsion in Raleigh, NCsarahcteacher@yahoo.com
>Beautiful!You know I understand where you are coming from and it is so awesome to see your faith grow with every step.I cherish the promise that God sets the lonely into families. Thank you for being willing.
>Hey! I came across your blog and just now and loved this post. It’s exactly how we felt. We had 4 under 5 when we started thd adoption process of a 3yr. old. We had him set aside too. But it was hard to tell people b/c of the circumstances. Finally, we realized that ultimately, we’re accountable to GOD…not friends or family, or whoever else might have things to say. We dove in and are SO peaceful about it. Congrats! We’d love to adopt older someday.
>oh my!!!!! how did i miss this post! *sings the doxology*SO excited!!!!!!!
>”oh”…… not really!:)This is AWESOME, GREAT, SUPER FANTASTIC!!! I just found your blog and LOVE it! so excited for you and your family. The chase is on and you have one more pray-er:) behind you!Blessings on this race! Can’t wait to follow it!