>Paper Race, not Chase

>The race is on.
Not a chase this time. But a race, against time.

As some of you know, we’ve been pondering and praying. {And all of you pals, thank you so much for your support and prayers, they help SO much!} And we have decided and been given the all clear, the go ahead – against all odds and against the tide of normal.
We are going back.

I hesitate to post this as I know it will bring a tsunami of opinion; some welcome, some, not so much. But this is not being done to court opinion and favor. This is going to be done, in hope and faith and trust, with a little bit of fear and the usual fretting. But it is going to be done stepping out in trust instead of holding back in fear. {And yeah, now you know why I’ve been sort of obsessing in my recent posts…it’s all about me and my stream of consciousness folks!}

That’s no small thing. This is bundled up in fears and caveats. Boatloads of research: professionals, texts, personal experiences. But we have chosen to not live our lives in fear: intellectually, emotionally, or (and most importantly) spiritually. We choose to live in the light of faith. And our faith tells us that this is right. Not that this will be easy. Not that this might not be very hard. But that it is right. And there, in the right, in the faith and trust and effort, there is where we will find the joy.

Why? Many ask, and will ask, and have.
Why not? We say.
(And yes, there are many reasons why not. But again, where do those lie?)

So. We are going back. We have started the paper chase again. For a girl, in Ethiopia. We met her. She is twelve. Special circumstances. And that makes it not a chase, but this time, a race. Against time. For her. Not because she is ill, but because at her age, each day away from a family makes it all harder. Because she has been through enough and needs to land safely.

She does not know about this yet. She cannot. It is not allowed yet. She will be asked and told about us after our Immigration approval/update comes back again.

I have really struggled with who and when and how to tell people this time. Because this time it is so different, with an older child, one we met. This time the reactions are muted, tending toward the ‘deer in the headlights’ look and a short “oh.” And those are the good reactions. Sigh. So I tire of bracing myself for that. Because, hey, I’m shallow, and I like the happy, excited response! But I’ve decided, w/ Coffeedoc’s encouragement, to go ahead and tell people. Because we are committed. We are in. And we are not in for what people think anyhow. And it is exciting.

So we are going to embrace our joy, our excitement, because there will be joy in this. We are going to be excited when we can. And it’s fun to shout the news and if people don’t understand or agree: ok.

We covet your prayers, beg for them, if you pray. We count on all the support we can get. We are not proud, we are informed, we are probably fools. We know. But. When you feel such a pull, such endless bricks and nudges….what else can you do? For us. Nothing but this: step forward. One step at a time. And embrace it, all.

On your mark, get set, go!