Another year older

Again.

49 times now.

It keeps on happening and I am finally learning to embrace it, enjoy it, own it.  I’ve written before how I used to play it down and kind of zip through it as quietly as possible.  No longer.  Now I try hard to  just wake with a prayer of thanksgiving and sit back and enjoy the day.  Nowadays,  this day brings unexpected gifts…..it seems to come with more sagging and bagging and tired, but then again it also brings greater contentment, acceptance and I daresay, even a tiny bit of wisdom and much  more joy.    Really.  I wouldn’t go back for anything.  Which works out well since, of course, I cannot.

The Old Lady, by Bernard Safran, 1970

And now I am on the cusp of fifty.  The forties have been really good.  Life in the forties has brought many changes and challenges, perhaps more and  harder than any other decade.  And yet, I have found my heart expanding and my happiness growing.  Which is the greatest of gifts.

I woke to streamers and cupcakes in my kitchen (thank you godkids and Jean!), and multiple happy hugs from my kids.  Gabey keeps saying, “I’m so happy it’s your birthday!” It just makes me grin at the sweetness, every time (tho really, I think he’s happy due to the promise of cake…even so….).

Me too, buddy, me too.