>Annunciation

Posted on March 25, 2010 by coffeemom

Painting by John Collier.

It’s the Solemnity of the Annunciation.
Now you all know that this feast just resonates with me. For me.
I wrote about some of the obvious reasons, here, last year.
Really, I could and probably should, meditate on this feast, these images for a long time, oh…for the rest of my days. Maybe I’d be a better person. Surely, I’d be a better mom. Surely my faith would grow.

Because this feast is all about the letting go.
It’s about the letting go, in blind faith…the kind of faith I can only dream of, reach toward, and pray for a glimmer.
That kind of faith, that kind of willingness to “let go” and accept challenging, don’t know the road ahead but I’ll keep on and do my best without whining endlessly and relentlessly nagging questioning sort of faith just astounds me. Humbles me. Blows my mind. Still. Ever.

But she did.
Mary was a girl, a mere girl. Not old, with decades of life to measure the probability of it turning out ok in the end, or to compare to another girl she heard of in the same spot. She had no measuring stick but faith. And she was able to hold her breath, think about it for a moment (Because she was not programmed like a robot, she could have said ‘no,’….Indeed, we are taught that all of creation held it’s breath.)…and say, “fiat.”
Fiat.
Ok.
I’ll do it. “Thy will be done, not mine.”

Painting by Henry Tanner.

Ok, right there, there it is again. That hard stone to trip over; the one that lands me flat on my face, every time. “Your will be done, not mine.” “Your will.” “I’ll go with it.”
Simple, right?
Seems so.
Should be.
But no. Oh my, no. Not at all.

And she was surely scared, and unsure, and didn’t understand, and thought it’s impossible, c’mon. But, somehow, her heart of hearts, her very soul twinged and twanged and she knew. She KNEW, that this was the real deal – the realest deal. And so she bowed her head. She said “ok.” “Yes.” Maybe one of the most beautiful words in language, top ranks for sure:
“Fiat.”

And so, ever still, I look to her as an example of how to do it right.
I look to her for inspiration that it can really be ok even when it seems impossible and you just don’t know how to move ahead and you’re stepping into the dark without a light to read this new map you’ve been given.

One of our referral pics, he was so small!

I look to this feast as a reminder and connection to my own Gabriel, my Gabriel Tariku… and how scary that was and how amazing that unknown can be.

I look to this feast, that fiat, and remember that we all get the chance, again and again, to say “Fiat.”

I see another young girl who has done that, again and again.
And who does so, every day as she navigates a new huge world, full of wonders and hard confusing things both, struggles to learn and adapt and grieve and heal and grow and reclaim joy all at the same time.
And I know she says “fiat.”
I think she whispers it, but oh, I know she does say it, again and again.
And she is a little mini annunciation for me, every day.
Will I carry her? Will I love her? Will I teach her? Will I let her teach me?
I know she says “Fiat.”
And so, so do I.

Happy Feast of the Annunciation!

Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed
is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death. Amen

>Tripping

Posted on February 26, 2010 by coffeemom

Falling. Stumbling. Slipping. Stubbing.
Tripping.
We all fall down.

I fall down.

It’s why I grasp onto the prayer of the Stations of the Cross.
Because Christ falls, not once, but THREE times, as he carries his cross. And today is Friday and so I am thinking about this, tis the season….yeah, for falling.

Thus, as I fall, every darn day…it helps me. It helps me to pray the stations, to read and contemplate his exhaustion, how very hard it was to take the next step, any step, to just hold.
And he needed help…or, more precisely, he ALLOWED help.

Now he allowed help in order to let us participate, in order to show that through weakness we can be strong, together. He allowed help because that cross was SO. VERY. HEAVY….from us.
Perhaps if he hadn’t fallen, and allowed help to get up and keep going…just contemplating this walk would break us too. It would break me, I know. As it is, just contemplating it is heavy on my heart, every time.

And yet, it’s also such a help. Because I fall.
I’m falling. I fall again and again, ever, in carrying this measly hollow reed of a cross that I’ve been given.
I throw it down, tired and fed up. I gripe, I moan, I whine. As if that will help. It doesn’t. It only annoys everyone, not the least of which is myself (I offer a blanket apology to all my long suffering friends and family).

It’s OH so easy to compare crosses. Such a trap.
I do, though. All the time. And then I want to skulk away, knowing my cross is a twig, a hollow twig. It is filled with sweet kisses and belly hugs, soft sighs in the morning, and inside jokes.
Even so, I know this but some days I drop it, again and again. Because too often I focus on the struggles the fussing the attitudes the physical tiredness. But that mere twig, woven from eight (ok, nine) special souls in my care, grows in my selfish tired heart and hands into a giant redwood.
On those days, I strain to see through the gloaming…the shadows are long.
But I have blinded my own self. I am only looking at the hard, the tired…me.

Then another blessed Lenten Friday arrives, again, and I kneel to pray the stations.
I sing, off key, the Stabat Mater, in between the Stations.
And I blink to keep the tears back as my eyes, my heart, comes into focus again.
My twiggy cross is filled with sweet kisses and belly hugs, soft sighs in the morning, and inside jokes.
It is MY cross.
It is MY joy.

I fell down.
Tripped.
With help, and new eyes again, I get up.
It’s Friday…time for the Stations…again.

>…Her Station Keeping….

Posted on February 19, 2010 by coffeemom

>It’s Friday.
It’s Lent.
It’s the First Friday of Lent.

So. You know what that means:
Fish sandwiches.

Ok, it means more than that. It also means Stations of the Cross.

This is a prayer that I am particularly fond of.
It speaks to me.
It combines my interest in art with my love of story.
I mean, as an art major in college and a folkore and lit major in grad school, what brings those two together better than the Stations of the Cross?? Well, in my not nearly humble enough opinion, nothing!

Every Catholic church has a set of the stations. And while I tend toward the more classical in my aesthetic, I always like to check them out. They are a visual story. An artistic storyboard…with all due respect. An illustrated art/prayer event. Sometimes antiquated, sometimes profound, sometimes dreary, sometimes modern or abstract. Sometimes they are even 3D. But, they are classic and installed in all churches, typically lining the perimeter interior walls.

Right, sorry, what are they: The Stations of the Cross, Via Crucis, Via Dolorosa? The Stations are a visual depiction of Christ’s Passion, from his prayer in the garden of Gethsemane to his entombment. They are a stationary, historical, art event….Mel did his own version in his famous difficult graphic hard intense sometimes controversial movie.

But they are also a prayer. Preferably, a communal prayer. And during Lent, most churches will have a communal time to come together to pray the Stations on Friday’s (right after the fish fry, no kidding). And the people gather in the evening and take the small hand sized books and follow the priest or prayer leader as a group. They walk from Station to Station, set around the church. And they pray together. And in doing so, they are meditating on Christ’s passion and what Lent is all about. Because it’s not only about the swearing off of chocolate or, um, swearing or drinking or whatever. Lent is about the person. Not us the person…. And the gift given, and hopefully turning our hearts back to the giver.

And in praying the Stations, even a small child, or I, can wander the aisles, gaze up, and follow this story. And wonder. And even in doing that, begin to pray.

We adore you O Christ and we praise you….

Because by your Holy Cross you have redeemed the world.

>"Remember You Are Dust…."

Posted on February 17, 2010 by coffeemom

“…And to dust you shall return.”

No. We don’t wipe them off.

They are a mark, all day long, today:

We are not our own.

Thanks be to God.

>Mardi Gras!

Posted on February 16, 2010 by coffeemom

It’s Fat Tuesday! Mardi Gras!

Carnivale! Shrove Tuesday!

Yup, it’s the last day of Ordinary Time, the day before Ash Wednesday. So, today is the feast, the fest, the fete…the party. I love the folklore and history of today, the tradition of pancakes for supper – to use up the fats and dairy stuff in the house before the ascetic season of Lent. Now, that “using it up before it goes bad” isn’t a factor so much, but I love the tradition anyhow.

Today I am stewing about finalizing my Lenten efforts. This article is a good one, with a good reminder and perspective…but it has thrown my ideas on their head a bit and now I am rethinking. It’s very easy for me to give up too much of or the ‘wrong’ food items. It’s so ingrained for me to give up some foodstuff that I feel like a cheat if I don’t somehow. And yet, I have food issues (Because I have arrested development and am like a 4 year old if told I can’t have something……infantile, I know.) due to my lack of discipline, the effects of said infantile issues on my children (Yes, cranky much? And, yes, again, my failing, I realize that, thank you very much), and being diabetic my body just whacks out easily somehow it seems. So…not sure if I will do food at all again this year or focus more on this issue, also a struggle.

Yeah, I think that the bulk of my Lenten consideration needs to be centered around prayer and silence. I’ve been crazy distracted lately in prayer, and well, I’m never very good at silence. I crave it, but even when I find it, I can’t seem to get my whirling dervish of a mind to slow down and shut up. Really. So, to that end, I think I need to work on that. Shush up and listen for pete’s sake. Please.

I will type more tomorrow about this whole Lent thing, and my personal Lent thing (because I know that’s keeping you up at night….). But for today, I once again refer you to the marvelous supersite of all things Lent: questions, resources, history, ideas: Aggie Catholics.

So, tomorrow: Into the Desert, Lent begins.

Today:

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

>Lent-O-Rama

Posted on February 13, 2010 by coffeemom

>I can say that, can’t I??
That’s not too frivolous, is it?

I mean, this is a somber season….but it’s still in front of us and it’s almost Mardi Gras folks….so I’m running with it. Carnivale, Fat Tuesday, Shrove Tuesday, Mardi Gras. It’s all about the feast and the fest, you know – the pancakes – until Wednesday that is.

Because Wednesday is Ash Wednesday and its’ the beginning of Lent. And as I’m feeling it starting to press toward me, I am riffling through my lenten resources and ideas, prodding friends and family for their thoughts and ideas and being a general pest.

So, because I’m stewing about this, I’m posting. And if you want to shortcut this post and go to the mother of all lent round ups, go here, to Aggie Catholics and their yearly “one stop shop” for all things lent. You can also go here, to Sister Mary Martha, for her usual clear eyed, cut to the chase info on lent; what it is and shouldn’t be. Worth a peek, there.

Now I always like to plan on some spiritual reading during lent. No kidding, I do. Now, that plan often gets derailed, but really, I try, I do. TO that end, my list from last year, bookwise, still stands, go see…lots of good ones there.

Now, if I had to pick one or two…..and I might…I would recommend you look at these. The first one is a big bite to chew, um, read. It is dense and one of those books where you have to put it down every few pages to, um, digest it all. But, oh so worth the time:

Fire Within by Thomas Dubay : One of the best books I’ve read, especially for Lent. Deep, challenging, powerful stuff. One of the ones at the top of my list of great books, for years and years.
The second top of the chart lenten good reads is below. I’ve given this book out a number of times and it’s just a good retreat in a book, and great for retrackign your conception of the term “love.”

I Believe in Love, : Great book, a mini retreat in a book. Very powerful. Simple but very good. Don’t be put off by the simple title, it is still full of deep richness to dive into, especially this time of year. Because lent is exactly that, a time to declare our love…for others, and Christ (Not ourselves, like we/I usually do).
Ok, that’s it for the moment. I also have thoughts about things to add to your/my lenten observance, the really rich part of lent, in my book: confession, stations of the cross, devotions…

I actually really like lent and this whole season – even as I kind of brace for it. It’s a bit like setting out to train for a marathon or a half: you know it’s gonna be oh so difficult and probably painful, but you also know that you will be glad for the training, discipline and strength that results.

Hmmm. I am still pondering and pestering everyone quite a bit about that whole fasting part of lent, but if you all have any ideas or thoughts on it all, I would love to hear them. and when I can steal another few moments I will try to post some good links on it all. Great stuff out there on fasting, prayer, all the richness of the Lenten season. But until then I’m asking around about folks Lenten observances.

And now I am stepping it up to the cyber pest level. So, are you observing lent? If so, how?

>Feast of St. Thomas Aquinas

Posted on January 28, 2010 by coffeemom

It’s the Feast day of St. Thomas Aquinas!

Now there are many reasons to be fond of St. Thomas Aquinas, especially here in our little/big family. First off, of course, there is my dearest Coffeedoc, who, as we all know, is really named Thomas. Such a great name.

Other reasons run from loving the Dominicans, in general, and these ones, in particular…..to the fact that he is a patron of scholars and academics, he was underestimated and considered to be slow; dim even.

Our wonderful Nashville Dominicans….love them!

Little did his contemporaries know, he was a genius. A future Doctor of the Church; by which I mean, he is an “authorized teacher” of the Church. You want to learn good solid doctrine? Go read up on some St. Thomas Aquinas! Anyhow, this silent genius was also made fun of, just like so many of us, he was um, larger than the standard….and between his silence and his bulk he was often called the “Dumb Ox.” Awwww. That’s just mean. And at University! Sheesh!

Anyhow, the point being: he is a saint for us all. If you a hyper intellectual, a struggling student, someone struggling with their excess girth, ahem, someone who is underestimated, bullied, someone trying to live a chaste life (Which we all should, but that’s another post. And get your mind out of the gutter, “chaste” doesn’t have to mean prudish or pathetic.), teachers, Italians, aficionados of Italy….you name it. In our house we will have a particular devotion to St. Thomas, asking him for prayers for our Buddybug as he ventures forth, all too soon, to study here for a semester.

But really, almost any way you look at it, or him, St. Thomas Aquinas is a good egg, all around.

St. Thomas Aquinas is a saint to learn a bit more about, and one much needed in our confused post modern times.

Happy Feast Day!
St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for us!

>Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul

Posted on January 25, 2010 by coffeemom

The Conversion of Saul
Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni
1542-45

Today is the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul.
Now, we all know St. Paul, he’s a big fish – so to speak. No matter your denomination, he’s a ‘heavy hitter.’ But I kind of like that today we are not remembering just him, but specifically his conversion. And really, this IS one of the really fascinating things about Paul, for me anyhow. Maybe because I am SO resistant to change. And Paul, he should be (if he isn’t already) the patron saint of change, of stubborn people, of opinionated strong-willed folks. Oh gee, maybe he’s been one on MY patrons all along and I am only now figuring it out. Doh!

But I digress. Anyhow. Paul’s conversion fascinates me. It resonates with me. Not because I’m all about persecuting innocent folks (I hope. Hush, Jon, I heard that!). But rather, it’s because he was SO sure he was right, and filled with such pride and anger and intent about it all. It was his mission to search out and imprison Christians-followers of Christ. He HATED them.

And I find that really so intriguing, and so telling, and apropos of today. Isn’t that just what is going on today? In our modern, oh-so-enlightened, world? We all do the same darn thing. Sometimes even to the same levels of persecution and self-righteous surety. Even the hate. But the point is just this: Saul/Paul (he was born Saul, of course, and renamed Paul by Christ at his conversion) didn’t KNOW. He thought he knew it all, all about those Christians, all about what they were about. But he was wrong. He didn’t KNOW them. His hatred of them was manufactured from his own pride and ignorance and misguided ideas.

Oh. Ouch.

How often do I do that? Too often.
How often does the world, the media, the shouting commentator, do that? All the time.

And I think that maybe we all need to get knocked off our horse now and then. I know I do. And really, literally, Saul was KNOCKED off his horse (which I just love, such a great real life thing to happen, sorry Paul, but I do, love that). Blinded by the light of Christ. And that light, really SEEING him, and being called by name by him…it changed everything. It was Saul’s conversion. It converted his whole self, down to his very name. And he let it.

He let it change him.

That’s the second part of this that I have to just sit down and contemplate, for the rest of my life. Every day. And still it will boggle my mind. Because isn’t that the hardest thing? Ok, for me, I think it is. Change. I struggle with it, all the time, every day just about. I resist the big changes, drag my heels through them, or pretend I’m not resisting and steamroll through them to find the new (as close as possible to the old) normal to get back to my comfort zone. I hate being out of my comfort zone. Hate it. But Paul embraced that, in a humbling yet total all-in way. And in doing so, he changed the world. Whoa. That’s something for me to think about.

So, enough blathering. Enjoy this feast day. I think it’s a cool one, hip and modern in its own way. Timeless.

Happy Feast of Conversion of St. Paul!
St. Paul, pray for us!

>Feast of St. Agnes

Posted on January 21, 2010 by coffeemom

El Greco, St. Agnes.

Today is the feast of St. Agnes.
St. Agnes is a patron of many, but most especially apropos today: of young girls and also those victims of sexual assault. Considering the news of the disaster in Haiti and the spinoff news and reality of the vulnerable children stranded by this crisis there….St. Agnes and her prayers are much needed.

St Agnes (- 304)

Agnes was filled with the love of God from an early age, vowed herself to celibacy, and when the opportunity of martyrdom arose, she did not hide away but stepped forward and took it.

That is really all that is known: but it is enough. We who are used to compromising with the world at every turn, and would find excuses to avoid any inconveniences that our faith might cause us, let alone martyrdom (“yes, of course I would die for my faith in principle, but wouldn’t I be able do more good in the long run if I stayed alive just now?”), should admire the simple wisdom of Agnes, realise that there are moments where compromise and moral ambiguity just will not do, and pray for the strength to live up to such moments when they happen.
From Universalis, Commentary, Office of Readings

St. Agnes, pray for us.
Pray for the Haitian earthquake victims, especially the children.

>Ordinary Time

Posted on January 11, 2010 by coffeemom

Today begins Ordinary Time, liturgically speaking.
Christmas season is over.

Lent has not yet begun (Feb 17. Six weeks soon!).
This is the time between. And for a long time, I used to kind of feel…bereft. Like, ‘So, what now?”

Yeah, there’s the whole resolution thing (‘nother post, that). There’s the whole gung ho, ‘get it together’ push from the culture at large. Lose weight, get in shape, get organized, get back at it, get sharp, ya da ya da. But, after all the richness and hoopla of Christmas…it’s easy to be kind of deflated, just a little anyway. Or it used to be, spiritually, for me. Because, liturgically, this was kind of an undefined time for my senses. And that made it hard for me to get a handle on it all….prayerfully speaking. Where’s the focus anyhow?

But ya know, one of the real perks of getting to be such an old crone is that some things come into focus. And one of them is the beauty of Ordinary Time.

Because Ordinary time is…..ordinary.
I know I know….all you academics and intellectuals out there will direct me to the doctrinal underpinnings of this. And those are great. But I’m talking about just my whirly thoughts about it all and where my mind goes with all this.

Because it’s an interesting concept: Ordinary Time. Why bother with even trying to think about it..isn’t it just TOO dull? Maybe not. Maybe it’s where the deepest beauty really runs, in some ways…the contentment, the rich, the fullness, the joy. And really, to really truly find that deep contentment, don’t you have to kind of live in the moment? Now? In the ordinary stuff and fluff and mire of every-day. Every day? Um, I think so. And, for me at least, that is really a MUCH bigger challenge than being swept along by the rich pageantry and bounty of traditions that are tied to Christmas. My mind tends to dwell in the near future, what’s just ahead….much like a never stopping gerbil mill, around and around and around it goes.

And I only really have come to recognize the potential worth of this very ordinary-ness as I’ve aged up a bit and slowed down a bit and, honestly, gotten more and more mired in the most mundane of daily tasks and minutiae. Sometimes that very mire of the ordinary and mundane can seem to almost drown you (Ok, me).

But if I lift my head, and slow down and try to be present in that ordinaryness, without having to try to knead it into something else, something bigger or more grand….if (And here’s the catch, for me) I ACCEPT IT….. then, and only then, can I catch a glimmer of it’s beauty. Of the quiet goodness of it. Or the loud goodness of it, as the case may be (Very rowdy boys in my house, ahem).

Anyhow, so I have kind of grown to like this season. And I think it’s fitting that it begins in the dormant quiet of winter. I need this time too to bundle up, cozy in, slow down. I need to retrain my mind to quiet. I need to retrain my mind to accept, this moment, good or bad, right here, right now. Because it’s that lying low, fallow, and quieting – inside – that I struggle to find and hold onto.

But it’s a new season, starting today (or technically, last night after vespers…thanks Buddybug).
To embrace the very ordinary time of my days….that’s where I find the treasures.

>Baptism

Posted on January 10, 2010 by coffeemom

Baptism of Christ, painting by Juan Fernandez de Navarrete.

Today is the Solemnity of the Baptism of our Lord.

This marks the end of the Christmas season. Our tree came down today. (The lights on the house will soon follow…no, really). The nativity sets and ornaments packed away safely in tissue, the stockings gathered and stowed.

Tomorrow begins Ordinary Time. And, I’m ready. It’s time.

So, for today, Pope Benedict says it best:

“This…is the mystery of baptism; God desired to save us by going to the bottom of this abyss himeself so that every person, even those who have fallen so low that they can no longer percieve heaven, may find God’s hand to cling to and rise from the darkness to see once again the light for which he or she was made.”

Whew. The best gift of Christmas.

Don’t let go.

>Feast of St. John of the Cross

Posted on December 14, 2009 by coffeemom

It’s the Feast of St. John of the Cross.

St. John of the Cross is one of the Doctors of the Church, a renowned Mystic, and has some of the deepest thinking and most beautiful writing of the Church. It is no easy read however and I have only barely dipped into some of his writings. His most famous work is, of course, “The Dark Night of the Soul.” I learned about him first through my love of the writings of St. Teresa of Avila, a close friend of St. John. Together they worked to reform the Carmelite Order which had strayed from it’s founding principles of poverty and prayer. And so they did.

St. John knows of that tough spot, desolation, difficulty in prayer, and yet, he knows it’s bounty as well and the beauty that can be found even in that. He writes beautifully of the call to die to one’s self. No small feat that, but in that, in bearing life’s crosses, we become more truly us and therefore closer to God. He also wrote that “Silence is God’s first language.” See, so much for me to learn! That’s one of the reasons I like him.
Here is another, a quote:

“Where there is no love, put love — and you will find love.”

Happy Feast day!

Icon by Lynne Taggart

St. John of the Cross, pray for us.

>Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

Posted on December 8, 2009 by coffeemom

Saint Anne conceiving the Virgin Mary
Douai, Musée de la Chartreuse

Oh, it’s a big feast today! It’s one of those feasts: an uber Catholic one.
It’s the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, a holy day of obligation.

One of the big Marian feasts, and one that often gives many folks some consternation (from a scratch on the head to fits). For a good explanation of it all, go here (and scroll down for all those, “What’s up with that” “How can that be?” kind of responses). I can’t give you a great theological treatise on it. It took brilliant theologians from the east and west to determine this one over the centuries, but they did because we are human. And our inquiring minds want to know, and puzzle and ponder. So those who have gone before us prayed and debated and concluded. I can say that it only makes sense to my puny brain.

For a long time, I thought that the “immaculate conception” referred to Mary’s conception of Jesus, you know, with the descent of the Holy Spirit and Gabriel and all…clean, tidy, right? But no, it’s actually about Mary and her being preserved from the stain of original sin. Confusing, a little, huh? Well, this is how it parses out in my old mom brain: God himself is all love and of course, without sin. God came to us in his son, Christ, who was also without sin (being God and all). Since all purity and all love cannot coexist with the stain of sin, how could Christ come to us as a man, without first having a pure ‘vessel’, if you will? Well, he couldn’t, that would not correspond with the natural/divine order. Growing in utero is, utterly, coexisting. So, if God cannot coexist with sin, then a human mom to be would have to be found, sinless. And thus, since God is beyond time, he prepared Mary, {from her conception of course}, to be without sin. Because God knew, outside of time, that Mary would be the perfect (literally and figuratively) mom for Jesus.

Now, I think that’s cool! It makes perfect sense to me and really is one of those ‘clap your hands, I get it” kind of moments. Yeah, it’s uber Catholic. But hey, I love being Catholic because (well, so many reasons) its cool and rich and takes my breath away. And of course, I love feasts….so it’s a good day!

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us!

>The waiting begins. Advent.

Posted on November 29, 2009 by coffeemom

>Waiting.
This blog is about nothing if not waiting.
Waiting is one of the very worst skills of mine; by which I mean, I stink at waiting.
I am wretched at waiting because I have no patience.
So, of course I have had to wait many times, and surely will continue to.
And it is surely the reason I have eight children.
I have waited for many things and people over the years.
Sometimes I fall into the huge trap of “wishing away my life” (as they say here in the south) by the way I wait.
It’s true.
I have done that far too much, far too often.
I suspect I’ve lost years.

I have waited impatiently, filled with busyness, to finish college.
To get into grad school and out again.
Waited for Coffeedoc to finish med school. Then internship. Then residency.
Waited to stop being broke.
Waited to get married (seven years dating, so, I’m not kidding).
Waited to get pregnant (but only the third time…and that wait was particularly long and particularly difficult on all levels).
Waited to adopt. To be selected by a birthmom. To hold that baby.
Waited to adopt from Ethiopia. To jump through the paperwork hoops. To be matched with a referral. To pass court. To travel.
Waited for the CDC to clear my daughter to come home. To be allowed to travel.

Heck, I can turn waiting for Coffeedoc to get home for dinner into a sporting event.
So, yeah, I wait…all too often. And I do it all wrong.
Patience is NOT one of my virtues. Thus, I suffer a bit, or a lot, waiting.

The reason to drone on about all this waiting is that today is a special day.
Today is the day to try, once again, to approach waiting in the right spirit.
Today is the day to reframe the waiting into a better approach: preparation.
Today is the day to recognize the beauty of the wait: the anticipation, the slow glow of expectation.
Today is the first Sunday of Advent.

I love Advent.

When done right Advent is a season (four Sundays) of rich tradition, prayerful contemplative expectation, a settling into the deep; it is combined with an overlaid gauze of building excitement.
It is a preparation -not for a Christmas morning frenzy of torn wrapping paper and too many gifts.
But rather, a mindful preparation for the advent, literally the ‘coming,’ of the most important gift of all.

I almost always fail Advent.
I stay mired in the cycling hubub of my house, the must do’s, the should’s, the pressures and strains. I get lost in the jumble of calendar commitments and then resent the time they snatch away.
It’s the curse of the goal oriented…this sense of ‘eye on the prize.’ Get to Christmas, make it happen.
But the trap is that then you miss the process, the very beauty of the anticipation.
You miss one of the most beautiful seasons of the year.
I wish away this gorgeous season.

This year, once again, I hope to be more mindful.
To prepare the gifts early enough to stop the last minute frantic fretting and gathering.
To dig in and slow way down.
I hope and pray to see and stop and savor the small moments – the ones I might miss as I move so fast through the days.

This is Advent. It’s a beautiful time of preparation, inside and out.
It’s almost Christmas! He is coming.
The waiting begins again.

“Know that the Lord is coming and with him all his saints;
that day will dawn with a wonderful light, alleluia.“

From the Divine Office: First Sunday of Advent.

>All Souls Day

Posted on November 2, 2009 by coffeemom

Aladar Korosfoi-Kriesch

All Souls’ Day –1910 Oil on canvas,

Its the Feast of All Souls Today.
And this day is cool because its not just the Saints that we are remembering, the big leagues, but all of the little guys, the regular folks who have died – the Joe Schmoes of the world who are just the regular guy in the trenches or mom in the laundry room. But even so, these folks, so many of them, have died, gone to heaven and deserve a remembrance. It’s our nature to do so.

All Souls Day in Slovakia

Sometimes folks wonder why we even bother to think of a day to remember and pray for the dead. I mean, they have passed on, no use now right? Well, no. I think, and our faith teaches us, that in fact there is great use. Our souls are immortal. They are us, the realest us. They do not die. This is an article of faith and I know many who disagree. But I believe it. To my mortal bones, I believe we have souls that are immortal.

Painting by Rubens

Therefore, when I die, I hope and pray that my loved ones, heck, ANYONE, remembers to pray for me. Because I’m gonna need it.
I need it now, I will need it more so then, because my time on earth to actively turn my heart away from my measly selfish self and around to the face of God will be done. And so while I hope and pray I am going to heaven, I suspect…if I get to heaven I will be in the foyer of heaven: purgatory.

Yup.
I said it: ‘Purgatory.”

One of those words! One of those polarizing kind of words.
And I wish it wasn’t.
Purgatory is a beautiful, sensible concept and gives me such comfort and hope.

As I am not a theologian, nor particularly smart or insightful…but am quite opinionated, I get to give you my take on purgatory and why I think its so cool. Keep in mind, I have simplified and condensed a rich complex theological concept into terms my little old middle age wandering mind can digest. So don’t get all tied up in knots over this, go read someone knows.

But, for me, this is the deal with purgatory – a “mom” take on it.
In my rambling rabbit warren of a house, we are lucky enough to have a mud room. This is the main entrance to our house by all friends and family. And you know, even when its my son coming home from college and I can’t wait to see him, we stop him for a moment in the mudroom…we say “Ack! Quick scrape those boots or take ’em off, they are covered in mud!” So he does and then we hug him and pull him into the kitchen to feed him pie and have the little’s jump him with glee.

This is purgatory. Or just like it, to me.

Even if we have turned our hearts to God and want only to do the best we can…we screw up, we still are impatient and ill tempered and selfish (ok, me). And when we die, we don’t just all of a sudden have those hurtful acts disappear; those sins still ripple out to those we left behind. We are still ‘smudgy’ with that selfishness. And while we may be deeply contrite and now, after our passing, fully understand how hurtful even some of our small ‘unimportant’ acts or “white lies” really are…..we are not ready yet to stand in the presence of Love and Truth. Because you can’t. You can’t if you still have some smudges. God’s Divine self/presence cannot coexist with anything less than truly pure. Because God is pure. And so, we too become so – in purgatory. Purgatory is where we take off our muddy boots. We put on some clean soft slippers or go barefoot in to the pure white of the kitchen. And then, we are hugged, hooted over, loved and we all grin and eat pie.

So today we remember and celebrate those souls who have gone before us with their hearts turned toward God: All Souls Day.

Happy Feast of All Souls!
Perhaps even in heaven, or especially in heaven, it’s all about the pie!

>All the Saints

Posted on November 1, 2009 by coffeemom

The challenge of sainthood

is to go where love takes me.

Today is All Saints Day!

Another name is All Hallows Day. It follows, of course, All Hallows Eve…or, obviously, Halloween. I love that we don’t just celebrate Halloween and its not just a creepy horror fest or excuse to dress up and scarf down way too much sugar (Baby Ruth’s, Reeses, pie, oh my!) But that in actuality these are three days of remembrance.

Remembrance of what?
No, not only that you need to stay on your blood sugar meds or that there’s always tomorrow for a new diet.
Rather, its remembrance of the dead.

Its why I think the Dia de los Muertos is cool too, not creepy. Plus of course there is usually lots of food involved, especially Pan de los Muertos (Special bread), and whats not to like about that?

Its why those Dutch Veritas paintings were all the rage way back when (Ok, ok, 16 & 17 C). They were a way of reminding us that “all is vanity” in life (You know, Eccliastes and all); this life here is but a blink.

It’s remembering our dear ones who went before us, and also those who were not so dear personally perhaps, but now can be so very dear as they listen to our prayers and pray on our behalf.

Yup, I’m talking about the Saints!
We love them!

And for those who have concerns with praying to saints, I understand. But, well, here is a bit on the concept of communion of the saints. But for me, I think its one of the most cool and natural concepts of the faith and well, life in general. Because this tells us that we are connected. You all know how much I rely on those connections!

And to be connected to those who have gone before us, and who, since they no longer are bound by their human tendencies toward sin, are pure of heart and intent…to be connected to these special souls and be able to hit them up for prayers? Well, that is just too cool and a huge comfort for me.

Its a lot like asking your best girlfriend or Aunt Midge to pray for you, but knowing that the prayers will be less distracted and without any overlying layers of selfishness. For instance, “Please let Coffeemom figure this out so she will stop droning on about this, it’s making me nuts.” See, thats one kind of prayer that any earthly person might (ok, surely does) pray if I ask them to pray for me.

But we know that the saints will pray for God’s will for us, more along the lines of “O God, come to her assistance, send the graces she needs to understand your will and thus also take pity and have mercy on her best friend.” See? Much better, don’t ya think? Me too.

So, today is the day that we try to recover from All Hallows eve and the food feasting and instead feast on the deep contentment and uber coolness of knowing that the saints, both the “rock star” saints and the little known ones, will pray for us and care about our little human lives.

They’ve been there, done that, know the traps and are cheering us on our way. What’s not to like? Or celebrate? I’ll take every bit of help I can get. And, blessedly, this is real help, right now….and forever. Ah….

Photo by Richard Flynn. Saints in the cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, Los Angeles: Cecilia, Stephen, Casimir, Ignatius of Loyola, Frances of Rome, Bernardine of Siena, Thomas Aquinas, Katharine Drexel, John of God, Maximilian Kolbe, John Baptist de la Salle, Paul Chong Hasang, Moses the Ethiopian, Kateri Tekakwitha, Thomas More, Nicholas, Dominic, Mary Magdalen, Ann, and Joseph.

Happy All Saints Day!
I’m gonna go have another piece of pie!

>Happy Halloween! All Hallows Eve!

Posted on October 31, 2009 by coffeemom

>Preparations are under way.
Pumpkins have been carved, and tested in the dark.
Oohs and ahs, gasped, hands clapped.
Costumes tweaked and twirled and swashbuckled about.
Pillowcases found and tested for candy collection.
Candy tested, twice even.
Or more.
Snickers are frozen (Um, to test…yeah, that’s it!).
Reeses and Baby Ruths picked from the bags (Best Halloween candy. Ever)
Trick or Treating timetable set.
Weather checked and fretted over.
Kids amped up.
Parents eyeing wine and margaritas.
Dusk soon, right?
Oh.
Ok, waiting a bit.
For my sister:
Brisket is cooking for chili.
Pumpkin Pies are baking.
Corn bread and little mini hot dogs in process.
(FYI: They are rightly, traditionally, called “Little mini hot dogs” – whether or not they are mini dogs or little smokies and it is not redundant to use “little” and “mini” on such a festive occasion. It’s tradition for you newbies out there. Ask my sister. She’s a lawyer and the oldest. She says.).

It’s All Hallows Eve.
It’s Halloween!
Its tradition: exhausting, wild, ruinous for teeth and figures, and big fun.

Happy Halloween to all!

>Feast of St. Teresa of Avila

Posted on October 15, 2009 by coffeemom

Painting by Janet McKenzie

It’s the feast of St. Teresa of Avila!
I love her. I feel she is one of my patrons due to our shared tendency toward massive headaches and migraines. Only one who has them all the time can really understand how they scramble you…and she did. So, she’s my gal!

Painting by Francois Gerard, c. 17C

But more importantly, St. Teresa of Avila is just one heck of a great saint. She is one of the three women Doctors of the Church (noting that her spiritual writings are both sound and very important, influential). For a woman of medieval times, that is no small accomplishment, not to mention: staying power! Her books such as Interior Castle and The Way of Perfection are just amazing reads. Not fast page turners, but mind blowers. You have to stop every few pages and just sort of…digest it all. And then soak it in, let it sink in….it’s great great stuff and will change your prayer life. She founded the Discalced Carmelites (Meaning “shoeless,” again, what’s not to like?) and had an ongoing friendship and correspondence with the mystic and poetically powerful St. John of the Cross {And if you want a really phenomenal book, tough, dense, but OH so worth it: read the compilation/commentary on these two together: Fire Within, by Dubay}.

But on another level, not the “resume” angle…St. Teresa of Avila appeals to me because she was first of all a real living, breathing woman. I know, they all are, doh. But what I mean is that she was a woman of opinions and ideas and kind of stubborn and pushy, even when that wasn’t always overtly sanctioned in the culture of her time. She was extremely social and loved to sit and chat and flirt even…she was quiet beautiful and knew how to use it too. She had to struggle against the urge to chat and flirt and spend too much time doing it, because she could lose afternoons to it. Sound familiar to any of you, especially you gals? Um, yeah. That stuff IS fun. Sounds pretty modern to me.

St. Teresa’s monastic cell at the Convento de la Encarnación, Ávila

And yet, even so, St. Teresa could hear in her inmost self the whisper of God who loved her as she was, more than anyone else could. And she responded, bravely, to that irresistible call. And it brought her the ecstasy of union with God in prayer. And that amazes me and intrigues me as I know firsthand how hard it is to push all those opinions and flippy chitchatty conversations out of my head to pay attention to God himself. Distraction? I’m the poster girl for it. But St. Teresa gives me hope and I have hope that she prays for me…for my attention to what is important, for responding to that call, that whisper, for my headaches, for being brave enough to listen through the din of my modern mundane life.

Sculpture by Bernini, “St. Teresa in Ecstasy”

So, happy feast day!

St. Teresa of Avila, pray for us!

>Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary

Posted on October 7, 2009 by coffeemom

>It’s the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary!

Now, you all know I love the rosary. I go in seasons of saying it faithfully and then slacking off and letting my hectic life get in the way. I think that is a common thing. However, let me say this: The day is better if I say a rosary. Even if I am distracted and rushed, it’s better if I say a rosary. I think it is the meditative aspect of it, it is a calming, deeply soothing thing. The rosary is a meditative prayer. Too often folks who don’t pray it or know how to pray it say it’s only a repetitive prayer. Well, um, yes it is repetitive. But that very repetition allows the meditation on the life of Christ and deepens it. It is a powerful prayer.

Lorenzo Lotto, “Our Lady of the Rosary”

In this prayer of the rosary we meditate deeply on the life of Christ, and ask his mother for prayers for us and our intentions, in addition to praying Christ’s prayer as well, the “Our Father.” It is a gift, this prayer. It is prayed worldwide and it is a comfort, and it teaches us to pray and meditate in order to deepen our joy. So today we celebrate the woman of this prayer, our Blessed Mother.

From the Liturgy of the Hours for today:

“Holy Mary…may all who celebrate your feastday know the help of your prayers.”

>Feast of Saint Francis of Assisi

Posted on October 4, 2009 by coffeemom

It’s the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi!

Now St. Francis is, arguably, one of the most popular saints (no matter your denomination or even if you have any belief system at all) of all time. Period. He is, if you will, a rock star of saints. Which, yes I know, is oppositional to all that sainthood is about, but there you have it. He is. He is known and loved around the world.

But you know, my issue, and one that kind of has kept me from getting too close to St. Francis, is that he is too often sentimentalized into a sort of “saint-lite.” It seems like only the fluttery bird loving Francis is ever depicted. Churchs all over love to do the blessing of the animals in honor of St. Francis. Well, ok. I like animals too and we all know he loved them and talked to them and that’s very cool.

But really, St. Francis was a radical! He came from a very wealthy family and after living the wild life for years, to the despair of his folks, he had a radical conversion and threw it all away, literally (stripping to the skin in the public square and renouncing his inheritance…not the way I’d encourage youth to model today, but still….). He then went to devote himself to poverty and prayer and building up the Church, literally and figuratively, in joy. Even by the standards of the day, way back when, he was a holy radical. That’s the St. Francis that I like to think about, the one that draws me in and wonder, but is too often unrecognized.

Painting by Murillo, “St. Francis at Prayer”

My favorite thing about St. Francis, really, are these guys!! Also radicals for Joy, totally countercultural…… They are awesome and just light up a room when they are around. I tend to want to follow them around like a puppy. They are magnetic in their joy and just pull you to them!

Fransiscan Friars of the Renewal on tour of Ireland.

So, happy feast day!
St. Francis of Assisi, pray for us!

>Feast of Guardian Angels

Posted on October 2, 2009 by coffeemom

Painting by Denice Taylor Rinks, “Guardian Angel”

Today is the Feast of the Guardian Angels.

Now some nowadays might well dismiss this as just a sentimental notion, wishful thinking, or peter pan-never grow up syndrome. Me, I just find it a comfort. I love the teaching that we each have a Guardian Angel to watch over us, I need all the help I can get and to know that my children have them as well is even more of a comfort. And yes, I believe it. I like being able to ask them for prayers and protection, I like being able to tell my kids to do so as well if they waken from a bad dream or are worried. It’s a divine comfort. Really, a Divine comfort. And such a gift.

Now angels are pure spirit so we cannot begin to know what they look like. Which I think is cool as we can imagine them in different ways. As a child we might imagine them in the more traditional or storybook images. As we age we might have very different ideas, or not. But no matter, I think the imagery and the concept and the actuality of Guardian Angels is very powerful and strikes a chord deep within us. At least, I know it does for me. We are taught as a small child in our church this simple prayer:

“Angel of God, my guardian dear
To whom God’s love commits me here
Ever this day, be at my side,
To light, to guard
to rule and guide.”

Now, I’m 47. But that can still provide some comfort on those frightening dark midnights or those worried days – to know that I am not all alone, utterly. I have a helper who is far smarter than myself. I’ll take it.

So I give you this, from the Office of Readings:

“The Lord will send his angel to accompany you and to guide you safely on your way.”

Happy Feast Day!
Guardian Angels, pray for us!

>Feast of St. Therese of Lisieux

Posted on October 1, 2009 by coffeemom

>It’s the feast of St. Therese of Lisieux!

You all know I just love her! You all know she has heard more than one novena from me this past year (and so have you!). But you might not know that she is also a patron, we feel, of our Marta. They both have suffered from TB and from being “little and unseen.” And so we are grateful for St. Therese for her example of joy and hope in even those difficulties. We have given Marta, with her permission and understanding, the middle name of “Therese,” after this dear saint.

And just to clarify…for years I had a hard time approaching St. Therese. Her autobiography was written in the Victorian era and just TOO florid for my taste and I simply couldn’t get through it. It made me nuts and impatient and I put it down. I started wondering “Whats the fuss? Why, exactly, is she a Doctor of the Church?” Finally I read a biography of her instead, by Guy Gaucher, and that was so much better. Then I read commentaries on her life and writings and I braced myself to get break through the stylistic barrier and really read her life and words. And now I know. I know why her “little way” is so powerful; so full of hope and encouragement for each of us, for me.

And I just say this to encourage any of you who find yourself in that spot, to give her writings or the writings about her a try. The tone deafness, if you will, of our modern ear and eye, its narrow scope when judging what is and is not worthwhile….is a false constriction that forces a loss of much richness and beauty, without even realizing it. So, if she pulls at you at all…give it a try.

It’s hard to feel like you’re doing much, or even enough nowadays. Even if you are doing all you can and then some. But by refocusing, with St. Therese’s comforting encouragement and true conception of “the little way,” we (ok, me) can find value even in what seems like the most mundane of days. And man, that just gives me hope and helps me keep stepping forward.

Mother Theresa even chose St. Therese as her patron. Right there, that tells you something, eh? No surprise, a dominican puts it well:

“Her mission was in fact, just that: her testimony to hope, to the joy of faith, amidst the darkness and unbelief of the 20th century. Her little way was the tightrope of faith she walked on, through illness and obscurity, over the abyss of meaninglessness, and into the heart of God, and she did that with joy.” Father Bill Garrott, OP

Happy Feast Day Marta Therese!
St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us!

>Feast of St. Jerome

Posted on September 30, 2009 by coffeemom

Painting by El Greco, “St. Jerome, cardinal”, c. 1587-1597

Today is the feast of St. Jerome!

He is a the famous curmudgeon of the bible – by which I mean, he is a Doctor of the Church, and famous for his translation of the bible from the original Greek into the vernacular of the day: latin. He was a noted scholar with a keen mind and a sharp tongue as well as gifted in languages.

‘Saint Jerome and the Angel’ by Simon Vouet, 1625

If he was alive today he, who knows how he might have put all our instant mass media to use….he was well known for his scathing letters and commentary on all sorts of goings on in the culture and even the church at the time. He was not a mushy feel good sort of guy, he was grouchy and reportedly ill tempered and critical, with ascetic leanings. Sort of like an old, holy version of a modern day James Carville maybe, but OH so so much better.

Painting by Joos Van Cleve, “St. Jerome” c. early 16C

And that’s the thing that I tend to take away from St. Jerome. Not only is he the patron saint of librarians, students, school-kids, translators (and hey, I should be hitting him up for prayers daily, what have I been thinking?), archivists and so on. I think he just might be the ticket, the patron and go to prayer guy for grouchy critical folks like me! He shows us (ok, me) that even us grumps can get to heaven and God can work even through the grouchiness and beyond. It gives me hope, I tell ya!

Painting by La Tour, “St. Jerome”

Happy Feast Day!
St. Jerome, Pray for us!

>Feast of St. Matthew

Posted on September 21, 2009 by coffeemom

Painting by Caravaggio, 1602

It’s the feast of St. Matthew today!

We all know of course that St. Matthew is one of the authors, divinely inspired, of the four gospels. So, a biggie, a bona fide, called by Christ, apostle. He was one of the shocking picks of the day, a hated tax collector for the hated Romans, and yet, Christ saw his interior heart.

But, beyond even that, Matthew is a great saint to remember, oh always, as he shows us how to set aside ourselves and, in the modern ad lingo of the day, “just do it.”

Who knew, he was the first Nike athlete? Just a spiritual one! But do it, he did. When Christ called him, he didn’t dither or hedge or ask for the fine print…as you might expect from a villified tax collector. Nope, he just said, “Ok, I’m coming with you,” and he got up and went. Done.

Painting by Rembrandt, St. Matthew and the angel, 1655

St. Matthew is of course the patron of bookkeepers and accountants and tax guys, but really, maybe he should be hit up as a patron of those of us who have a hard time making decisions, or those folks who’s bumper stickers read “He who dies with the most toys, wins.” Because St. Matthew walked away from all of that, without looking back. He gives me hope because it helps me know that even those of us who get mired in the worldly cares of the day, the trap of fretting over or wishing for money/lifestyle, those who are unpopular and even scorned (rightly or wrongly)….there is hope for us all. Whew!

Etching by Jacques Callot, c 15 century

And on a personal note, I love St. Matthew for two reasons in particular. On a tiny “small world” note: he is thought to have possibly worked and lived in Ethiopia for a time (so hey, gotta love that…). And he is the patron to my dear nephew Matthew, now a big old sophomore in college out east, who doesn’t come see his aunt often enough (hint, hint Matti). But I count on him to watch over my nephew, especially as he sets forth into the world. He’s a terrific patron, and I’m glad he’s praying for my Matti.

So, happy feast day!

St. Matthew, pray for us and for our Matti-mo!

Painting by El Greco, c 1610-1614

>Our Lady of Sorrows

Posted on September 15, 2009 by coffeemom

Today is the day we remember Our Lady of Sorrows.

Let me say just this: As a mom, this tears me up. No matter the denomination…moms will understand this concept of the sorrowful mother. She is every mother….

Drawing by Kate Kollwitz, Woman with dead child, 1903

So, as I cannot begin to sufficiently address this day and all that could be said,
I will let this most famous hymn do it instead.

Stabat Mater:

At the cross her station keeping,
Mary stood in sorrow weeping
When her Son was crucified.

While she waited in her anguish,
Seeing Christ in torment languish,
Bitter sorrow pierced her heart.

With what pain and desolation,
With what noble resignation,
Mary watched her dying Son.

Ever-patient in her yearning
Though her tear-filled eyes were burning,
Mary gazed upon her Son.

Who, that sorrow contemplating,
On that passion meditating,
Would not share the Virgin’s grief?

Christ she saw, for our salvation,
Scourged with cruel acclamation,
Bruised and beaten by the rod.

Christ she saw with life-blood failing,
All her anguish unavailing,
Saw him breathe his very last.

Mary, fount of love’s devotion,
Let me share with true emotion
All the sorrow you endured.

Virgin, ever interceding,
Hear me in my fervent pleading:
Fire me with your love of Christ.

Mother, may this prayer be granted:
That Christ’s love may be implanted
In the depths of my poor soul.

At the cross, your sorrow sharing,
All your grief and torment bearing,
Let me stand and mourn with you.

Fairest maid of all creation,
Queen of hope and consolation,
Let me feel your grief sublime.

Virgin, in your love befriend me,
At the Judgment Day defend me.
Help me by your constant prayer.

Savior, when my life shall leave me,
Through your mother’s prayers
receive me
With the fruits of victory.

Virgin of all virgins blest!
Listen to my fond request:
Let me share your grief divine

Let me, to my latest breath,
In my body bear the death
Of your dying Son divine.

Wounded with His every wound,
Steep my soul till it has swooned
In His very Blood away.

Be to me, O Virgin, nigh,
Lest in flames I burn and die,
In His awe-full judgment day.

Savior, when my life shall leave me,
Through your mother’s prayers
receive me
With the fruits of victory.

While my body here decays
May my soul your goodness praise,
Safe in heaven eternally. Amen Alleluia

Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us.

>Exalted

Posted on September 14, 2009 by coffeemom

Piece of the titular of the Cross, found by St. Helena,
photo by Coffeedoc, Santa Croce, Rome.

Its the Feast of the Triumph of the Cross.
This seems to many like a weird feast, a remembrance of unspeakable suffering…why would anyone do that? However, it is through the Cross that we find our truest selves. Obviously, in faith we know that without the Cross all would be lost. We would be lost. Without the the Cross and Christ’s saving action, the world as we know it would not be as we know it. That’s Christianity, 101. But too often that part of it all is forgotten in the felt banner, Hallmark card version of pop culture Christianity that is so pervasive. Who wants to be a downer, anyhow? Right? But…is it, really? Not so much. I, myself, don’t think I could get out of bed most days if not for this and my faith in it. Period. So, today I celebrate the Cross, with gratitude.

Painting of St. Helena, mother of Constantine, who found pieces of the true Cross, 326.

“We adore you O Christ and we praise you.
Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.”
From the Liturgy of the Hours

>Happy Birthday to Mary

Posted on September 8, 2009 by coffeemom

>It’s the feast of the Nativity of Mary! Which means, of course, that it’s her birthday! And, as you have probably guessed by now…I love a birthday. They are full of happiness, just knowing that’s the day they were brought into the world. What’s not to celebrate about that, ever? This feast of the Nativity of Mary “is a commemoration of that happy and joyful day on which the ever-blessed virgin Mother of God first saw the light of day.”
This feast is one of the few that celebrate the birth of a holy person. Most feasts celebrate the death of the holy person…which sounds really weird, but the idea is that the day of death is the day they enter heaven, which is something worth celebrating on their behalf. But this is one of the three days on the church calendar that celebrates a birth-day; only John the Baptist and Jesus himself get this privilege. So this is an extra special honor, signifying her special role in our lives and her relation to Christ.
All of us are born and have many chances to turn to God or away, and really, you can’t ever know for sure until you get there (by which I mean, you die). So, for most of us regular Joes, we hope to keep turning toward God all along the way and we only mark and celebrate the death of the holiest, mostly saintly folks….and not their births; because they stayed the course, or turned to it for good. But for Mary, we get to celebrate her birth because God himself made her for himself, to be his entrance as a man to this world. Now that’s cool.
“We pray Thee, O Lord, grant to Thy servants the gift of heavenly grace: as the childbearing of the blessed Virgin was the beginning of our salvation, so may the devout celebration of her Nativity accord us an increase of peace.”

>Martrydom of St. John the Baptist

Posted on August 29, 2009 by coffeemom

Carvaggio, 1608

Ok, that title is a more polite way of describing this event. In my house full of rough and tumble boys, they tend to use the other, more graphic title: The Beheading of John the Baptist.

Sigh.
I guess in our modern era of shock tv and horror movies, even this grisly story seems tame.
What a shame. Maybe it should shock and make our stomach’s flop and faces wince.
It does mine.
I used to (still do, really…sometimes) wonder why we had to have these gruesome stories in the bible, and even commemorate them. I mean, really? As they say, “Why can’t we all just get along?” Why can’t it be “nice?” Let’s just look at the pretty stuff…..yes, Pollyanna….

But as we all know all too well, REAL life isn’t always pretty. Real life has real hurt, real gore, real unexplainable happenings, that can’t be explained away….except perhaps by the real existence of evil and our all too human nature to be seduced by it.
And this true story, that we remember especially today, is about evil, to be sure.
I mean, Salome asked for the head of John the Baptist on a platter…because her mother told her to ask as she danced. Her mother was so torqued at John for calling out Herod on his adultery (with her), that she pressed her daughter to ask for his death, and decapitation at that.
Talk about a vengeful woman…

Anyhow, this story is not only about that evil impulse and gory act. It’s about John the Baptist being both a harbinger of Christ and His sacrifice to come, but also a man who stood up for Truth – no matter what.

Massimo Stanzione c. 1634.

Now, even in our modern days, holding onto truth can sure get hard. Especially when so much of the idea of truth has become a dull gray slide rule……there is not much black and white anymore; absolute truths or rights or wrongs. Or, so it seems in our popular modern culture. And yet, of course, there still is real truth, but it’s not always popular or ‘pc’ or whatever. And while I haven’t heard to too many folks getting beheaded for being ‘non-pc’ lately, there is still a pressure out there to just…not. Not get involved. Not care. Not worry about anyone else. Not call it like it is. Not get into anybody’s business.

But really, it IS a fine line. I myself have more opinions than most, but I find the words “Judge not” ring in my ears. So, how to jive that all up? I don’t know. I tend to do the best I can on the fly. Which is probably pretty poorly, most of the time. I’ll either get too timid to speak up, or too tired, or I will speak up and stick my foot in it. Typically I just throw my opinions out there anyhow.

So, I can let my boys play with swords and be good guys and bad guys; acting out the scary hard ideas of good and evil, right and wrong. And this story can have a place in that sort of teaching, eventually. St. John the Baptist teaches us that we should not be afraid. That speaking the Truth is hard, possibly even dangerous. There is real danger in life, and sometimes it cannot be escaped. But, it is worth it.

And the caveat is: the Truth is Love. Love is Truth. And so….if you (ok, me) can try speak of Truth/Love, with courage….then you or I will live it as well.

Icon written by Constantine Youssis

>The Assumption

Posted on August 15, 2009 by coffeemom

>Icon of the Assumption

Today is the Solemnity of the Assumption.

And solemnity doesn’t mean, necessarily, somber and morose…rather it can mean big time, important. Meaning, it’s a holy day of obligation, go to Mass. And while this is one of the “biggie” (Yes, I spent my summers in the seventies on the beach, we used that term, so what?) solemnities in the Catholic calendar, I don’t have the energy to give you all the scholarly apologetics behind it all (go see the link above for a start).

As an aside, however, Coffeedoc pointed out that today was the feast of the Assumption to Marta – Ethiopian Orthodox celebrate this feast in a big way and it is called “Filsata Mariam” – and she jumped up and down with excitement. So it’s a big deal even in the the other ancient Christian faith traditions.

Ethiopian Orthodox Marian icon.

Suffice it to say that this Solemnity is totally cool and has so many threads connecting it all that it blows my mind with a grin. And that, as so much of life is, it’s one of the Mysteries. That’s mystery with a capital “M;” theologically speaking. By which I mean, if I really could understand it through and through, well, I would be be both presumptuous AND wrong. Because some of the mysteries that make life and faith so rich, are not for my puny mind to dissect.

So, that all disclaimed, ahem, I give you my personal gloss on this feast day (My blog, massively opinionated, you knew it was coming.):
Mary was a mother who loved with perfect love (unlike myself). Her son was a perfect son, who also loved with a perfect love. Now, if I, with my very imperfect love can love my sons SO much that it can make me cry and mope when they leave for their very fun new exciting lives in college (Next week, I”m just saying.) once again……then how much more so did Mary ache to see her son leave this earth and his time with her in such a grisly unbearable event? And how much did she miss him, achingly miss him, all those years? And therefore, at the end of her life, when she was able to be reunited with her boy, her Son….just think of the joy, the unbridled radiating shimmery JOY, of that reunion! And in this feast, we believe that they were reunited in Heaven.

Frankly, I simply love everything about this. I mean, just having my boy come back home after a few months at college makes me want to whoop, jump for joy, run down the stairs and hug him tight, not let go, feed him pie and just look at him. It makes me ridiculously happy. So, this feast is a promise of that to me, that reunion, that that kind of love between mom and son (or, ok, kids, but hey, let me run this out), doesn’t just die out…it is eternal. And that is the best promise of all and that is nothing but cool.

So, there, moms….that’s something to smile about.
Happy Solemnity of the Assumption!

Detail of painting of Assumption, by Titian

Magnificat (Luke 1:36-55)

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,

my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour;

he has looked with favour on his lowly servant.

From this day all generations will call me blessed;

the Almighty has done great things for me and holy is his name.

He has mercy on those who fear him,

from generation to generation.

He has shown strength with his arm

and has scattered the proud in their conceit,

Casting down the mighty from their thrones

and lifting up the lowly.

He has filled the hungry with good things

and sent the rich away empty.

He has come to the aid of his servant Israel,

to remember his promise of mercy,

The promise made to our ancestors,; to Abraham and his children for ever.
Amen.

Lodovico Caracci, The Assumption of the Virgin, about 1586-7

>Feast of the Holy Trinity

Posted on June 7, 2009 by coffeemom

By El Greco

Today is the feast of the Holy Trinity.
Now this is one of those Mysteries (one of the “Capital M” mysteries…by which I mean, truth that is just too big for our puny brains to fully comprehend): the Trinity.
But for a good piece on it, one that helps me just begin to grasp the concept and why today is worth a pause and thought or two, go here.

All I know is that I am grateful for the Trinity, I believe in the Trinity, because it just makes sense in a way – even though it scrambles my mind at the same time.
But.
Love needs to love Someone and their love is SO much, SO intense, that it creates a whole ‘nother being: Love. That’s just cool. Again, Fr. Ranier Cantalamessa says it best (being a preacher to the papal household and all):

“In every love there are always three realities or subjects:
one who loves, one who is loved and the love that unites them.”

Holy Trinity Icon.

Go love someone and celebrate!

Another Espresso, Please

Why, yes, I did just have one, thanks…

Category Archives: liturgical year

>Annunciation

>Tripping

>…Her Station Keeping….

>"Remember You Are Dust…."

>Mardi Gras!

>Lent-O-Rama

>Feast of St. Thomas Aquinas

>Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul

>Feast of St. Agnes

>Ordinary Time

>Baptism

>Feast of St. John of the Cross

>Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

>The waiting begins. Advent.

>All Souls Day

>All the Saints

>Happy Halloween! All Hallows Eve!

>Feast of St. Teresa of Avila

>Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary

>Feast of Saint Francis of Assisi

>Feast of Guardian Angels

>Feast of St. Therese of Lisieux

>Feast of St. Jerome

>Feast of St. Matthew

>Our Lady of Sorrows

>Exalted

>Happy Birthday to Mary

>Martrydom of St. John the Baptist

>The Assumption

>Feast of the Holy Trinity

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