>Novena begins today: St. Jude

Posted on October 23, 2010 by coffeemom

I’m starting my novena to St. Jude today.

That’s this guy, here, in this painting.

Painting by Anthony Van Dyke

I am starting this novena, which is nine days of focused prayer, today so that this set of prayers and petitions ends on October 31. His feast day is October 28, but this novena is in conjunction with the National Shrine to St. Jude, and it is beginning today. So, that’s what I’m doing too! I have some serious intentions for that have been weighing heavily on me, for friends and family. So, daily focused prayer, and with a great intercessor, always helps. Please join me!

Now, many folks are somewhat confounded by novenas. They are rather a Catholic thing, I’ll admit. But then again, not so much. Here’s the deal. (I know, I’ve spoken of this before, but well, who ever goes back to archives? No one.) You see, you all know, some of you more painfully than others, that I’m a beggar. This is the same deal. It’s intercessory prayer. Sometimes I ask everyone I know to pray for me, sometimes it’s more private…this time I am also hitting up a saint. St. Jude Thaddeus, to be precise.

And I ask him for his prayers, because he, unlike those of us here on earth, is in heaven already. He has left his smudgy selfish self behind and all traces of that are gone. His heart is pure. Thus, he is a MUCH more effective pray-er than most anyone else I can ask, short of Christ himself (and yeah, I’m praying hard and having much discussion with him too, no worries on that point!).

And this intercession of the saints is one of the coolest things I can think of. It’s just what I do for my brother with my folks, and what my kids do for each other with me. We go to the person who can help, on the others behalf. We petition. And stand in for each other and add our backing to that person’s petition. And it helps. If only in the moral support, it helps. And that is exactly what a novena in our Catholic ways do too. Only we hit up a saint, for their support and prayers on our behalf. And it helps.

Prayer transforms, no matter if they are answered the way we hope or a different way that we can’t understand yet. And that in itself makes the effort worthwhile.

So, I’m praying to St. Jude. He was a cousin of Jesus. He was a chosen apostle. He is a good egg. He is patron of impossible causes. He’s helped me before, he is faithful.

And I’m gonna make you all nuts maybe because I’m putting the novena prayer up every day. I’ll post other posts too, don’t disappear entirely! But, if any of you want to follow along, you can read and pray it here.

Thanks to each of you and any passing thoughts or prayers!

St. Jude, pray for us.

Day 1
Novena To
St. Jude
Today we center ourselves in prayer as we begin nine days of the Solemn Novena to St. Jude. St. Jude listens to our prayers and offers us hope when we become weary.

We PRAY:

St. Jude, I enter this Novena pleading for your intercession. May my daily prayer bring your intercession for my special intentions and may God’s Spirit guide me to know the best way to proceed in any troubling situation that confronts me.

Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege given to you, to bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of.

Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly

For these special intentions

and that I may praise God with you and all the elect forever.

I promise, O blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, to always honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen.

May the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen

St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.

Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus, in all the world and for all Eternity.
(say this prayer, followed by the Our Father and the Hail Mary)

>Sonar: Older Child Adoption Adjustment

Posted on October 21, 2010 by coffeemom

>I’ve been thinking a lot about Sonar. Radar systems. About technology that can scan the skies or the voids and have different weather patterns or objects be visible, from eddys in water flows to wind patterns….storm systems to cold fronts, big fish to submerged danger.

How do you make what can’t be seen to the naked eye, be seen?

Well, that’s where these systems come in, and really, they are cool.

I want one.

But I want the interpersonal mood system format.

Because with four, count em, four girls in the house, I need an ongoing alert system to the changing mood patterns and storm systems in our changeable girly mood house.

But, hang on, actually, I have one.

No, not mine…though I do have a pretty good radar system for all that. And perhaps, as it’s been pointed out to me (ahem) I lean on that too much, and overstep. Sigh.

But what I have come to realize is that we have, in our newest daughter, a very finely tuned system of mood alert.

I was thinking it’s really a radar system, akin to mine.

But it’s not, it’s different.

In fact, I’ve decided it’s a SONAR system.

It is not for the above the surface interactions or flaunted attitude or mood; not for the nuances of interaction and reaction. That would be radar.

Her scanning is remarkable for the subsurface sweeps of the moods that are, or are trying to be, submerged. It’s definitely a SONAR system.

Yup, we have a high grade finely tuned, walking sonar in our house.

It’s called “Marta.”

She has a constantly alert scanning sweeping sonar beam for any little shift or frisson of mood.

It’s remarkable.

And, often it’s pain in the backside.

Because it’s sweeping scans are trained tightly on her new mom and dad, the other kids will get caught in the sweep sometimes, but really only on the periphery. The tight lock-on…that’s for mom and dad.

So, if I am in a funk…….lock on.

A snit….lock on, beep beep beep!

Heaven forbid, her dad and I have had any disagreement, big or small…..clanging alarms go off for this girl and she breaks down.

Because her sonar is equipped with the bells and alerts and reactive torpedos.

Unfortunately, it is not equipped with a sorting device to decide which of those mood alarms are “threats” and/or which are “friendlies.”

Meaning, if I am crying happy tears over a sweet song one of my big boys wrote and played for me, or if I am cranky from a sleepless night or actually stewing over an argument…there is no differentiating. It sends her into a mirroring funk and/or tears; hers not so simple to stem.

On the other hand, her sonar translates to the skill of empathy.

This sonar, this remarkable pain in the neck silent constant sweep of alert, translates into both a protective mechanism/survival skill for her but also into an inate ability that surely can be trained into a skill to grow on. To grow with and into.

It is challenging to translate and explain it all to her, those nuances that are usually embedded in the moods she locks onto.
Much of the time, it is impossible.
Thus, it challenges us, her mom and dad.
It challenges us to be stronger steadier; to not fall into the ease of a sucking gripping mood. It challenges us, no, ME, to get a grip and detach from what’s useless and focus on what’s important. Which usually means to let go of my own selfish hurts (which is why I’m still failing at this and being challenged by it) and to keep my eyes on the bigger picture….even as I have to look at the very small 4’11” picture of a real life girl just trying to surf those subsurface tides.

Tom has a GPS/sonar on his boat. It shows him all the submerged hazards and the deep channels and the shallow shoals.
He uses it to safely navigate the waters of a murky lake.
Our Marti, she has this same GPS sonar built into her small self. It has surely helped her navigate the murky waters of this new family and new phase in her life. The trick for us all is and will be to learn how to use this sonar together, to help each other understand the pings that alert each other to the shoals and shallows and deep waters.

Ping!

>Almost Wordless Wednesday

Posted on October 20, 2010 by coffeemom

Dragons!

{for more wordless wednesday, go here}

>When your boy comes home.

Posted on October 19, 2010 by coffeemom

>It’s a happy week.….and I’m a happy mom.
because my boy is home from college, for the week only, but I’ll take it.

Here is what you remember when one of your son’s come home again, these things that so easily you forget in the hustle and crazy of everyday life:

That it feels so good to hug him, to feel him solid and sure and there; instead of crackling over a dropping cell phone connection or a glitchy skype feed.

That you never do expect to feel that blink of tears,
or that gasp of recognition, “There he is!”
just because he’s walked into your kitchen with a big eager grin.
That that big grin and quick step to hug you means everything.

That he looks good – that he’s growing up even as you can see the small changes now, in your kitchen, but that it is settling on him well.

That you really think its a great dance to see the hubub of siblings all talking at the same time and twisting around each other to get plates and milk and it doesn’t matter that it’s late and the kitchen is getting messy again and the windows are dark and it’s way past bedtime.
That standing around the kitchen counters and between the bags and stalling bedtime is just the best thing to do on a late Sunday night, when a boy comes home again.
That you really really enjoy watching him eat cake and soak in the hubub of his house, again.

That you love to cook for your kids who love to eat.
That is a treat to cook a Halloween supper a week in advance; upon personal request.
That brisket cooking on the stove is a smell of love and happy.
And that homemade chili and cornbread, pumpkin pie and goofy little mini wrapped hotdogs wrapped mean home.

That even bandaging him up, now all big and growing up as a man, is still a privilege and a way to be a hands on mom {and he is kind enough to ask me to do it}.
That bandaging up his elbow will make me think of all the reckless hurts he’s had, that I’ve bandaged, on this daredevil boy and maybe make me blink hard for a minute.
That making the house a home for this week is important and it’s not only for this boy, on his return…..
But it’s important for the family.
It’s important for his brothers and sisters to see that welcome and that soaking right back into the family.
It’s for me.
It’s where the joy is…in the small things…the things that matter in that quiet sink in sort of way.

So today I remember the beauty in the red pot simmering on the stove,
in the bowl of apples,
in the bandages,
and in the folding of clean shirts.
And I see it fresh, for a moment, in the heart of this home, his home, that he returns to with a grin and a sigh and a “It’s really really good to be home.”

Yeah. It is.

>Double Feast: St Luke

Posted on October 18, 2010 by coffeemom

El Greco, of course!

Today is the Feast of St. Luke!
You all know him, gospel writer and all.

But what sometimes gets overlooked is that St Luke is a man of many talents. Not only was he a a writer of the gospel and all…so his faith of course is inspiring….but he was a physician and tradition has it also an artist. Now, the arts part has been disputed, but who can know really? And tradition has brought St. Luke down as an honored patron saint of the arts and painters, in fact as an iconographer of Mary…so I’m running with it.
I mean, St. Luke is like the double whammy patron of the house, or our marriage, no? Yes! How cool! You’ve got the whole doc factor for Tom, and the arts factor for me, and the faith factor for us both! Whoa.
Frankly, I’m just really dig that.

After those two connections, you then add the whole Mary connection and well, this is a lock on the patron of the house deal for us. We love Mary. I love Mary! And I love painting Mary! So…St. Luke, he’s the man…surely to goodness he’s an intercessor to turn to. His gospel has some of the most profound parables as well:

“Luke is the one who uses “Blessed are the poor” instead of “Blessed are the poor in spirit” in the beatitudes. Only in Luke’s gospel do we hear Mary ‘s Magnificat where she proclaims that God “has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty” (Luke 1:52-53).

Luke also has a special connection with the women in Jesus’ life, especially Mary. It is only in Luke’s gospel that we hear the story of the Annunciation, Mary’s visit to Elizabeth including the Magnificat, the Presentation, and the story of Jesus’ disappearance in Jerusalem. It is Luke that we have to thank for the Scriptural parts of the Hail Mary: “Hail Mary full of grace” spoken at the Annunciation and “Blessed are you and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus” spoken by her cousin Elizabeth.

Forgiveness and God’s mercy to sinners is also of first importance to Luke. Only in Luke do we hear the story of the Prodigal Son welcomed back by the overjoyed father.”

Anyhow…just so you know. Today is the Feast of St. Luke. He was born in a pagan family and was a convert to the faith. He worked with Paul and preached the “mystery of Christ’s love for the poor.” He is inspiring. St. Luke lived the gospel through his spoken and written words, his art, his hands. Just like I should do, in some small measure, every day.

From the divine office, morning prayer:

” Saint Luke gave us the gospel message and proclaimed Christ as the dawn from on high.“

Painting by Maarten de Vos, 1602

So, my Tom/Coffeedoc,

Happy Feast Day!

St. Luke, pray for us!

>Monday Moment:

Posted on October 18, 2010 by coffeemom

>Not the fun one.

Posted on October 16, 2010 by coffeemom

>By which I mean: me.
I am not the fun one.
That would be Coffeedoc, Dad, Tom.
He is the fun one.

He is the one who travels the world and gets twitchy when he’s been home for more than a few weeks.
He is the one who drives fast, be it boat or car.
He is the one who takes the kids tubing and tries to dunk them with donut circles in the chop of the wake.

He is the one who makes silly voices and tells silly stories during dinner.
He is the one who makes gross out jokes during dinner.
He is the one who will buckle and snap endless coats and ski boots to get the kids on the mountain.
He is the one who will take them to Monkey Joe’s so they can run and slide and shriek to their heart’s content.
He is the one who will jump out of a plane, or hike up the hilltop to see what is there.

I am the one who could stay home forever.
I am the one who savors the different light of the seasons.
I am the one who stays off the lake while they flip off the tube, to make dinner after they come home wet and cold and laughing.
I am the one who stays with the baby while they see the Imax movie, ostensibly because it’s too much for the baby…but really because the swooping bigger than life high definition 3D makes me queasy. It’s too much for me.
I am the one who plays bananagrams and counts it as big fun.
I am the one who makes yogurt in a slow cooker, for pete’s sake!

He is the fun one.
He is the fast one.
I am the slow one.
I am the one that holds to bedtimes and routines.

{football at ND, last year}

This weekend, all the girls are with dad at Notre Dame.
They have gone up to see their brothers and a game.

My boys, yesterday on campus.

They will get to bed late, and eat way too much junk food.
They will yell at the pep rally and shout over the band.
They will see the drumline way way after bedtime, staying up until far into the night.
They will roll their eyes at his silliness and bad jokes.
They will alternately giggle and fume over his benign neglect of their girly natures.

{football game last year, ND}

I will fret that the change in routine will throw a few of them off kilter.
I will fret that the lack of sleep will be a catalyst for meltdown by multiple girls.
I will worry about them coming back rather undone, frazzled and unable to recalibrate into the instant return to daily life and requirements.
I will wonder if medicine was taken and how the moods are swinging.
I will brace myself for the impending meltdowns upon re-entry.
I will see the texts to me, complaining and fussing, and deflect them with “be nice, have fun.”

But, because after twenty-one years of being a mom, I am learning…..
that they will survive this weekend away without my ‘stick in the mud’ tending,
that they might even build new memories that will make them laugh til they cry….someday,
that they can live off of some junk food and be happy for my cooking when they get home,
that they can learn to be cranky and out of sorts and still survive,
that getting to bed crazy late is not the end of the world,
that Dad is not Mom.
And that he is the fun one.
And that there is time for that too.
And that their world is better for it.

I am not the fun one.
I am glad that he is.

>Another amazing Theresa

Posted on October 15, 2010 by coffeemom

Painting by Janet McKenzie

It’s the feast of St. Teresa of Avila!I love her. I feel she is one of my patrons due to our shared tendency toward massive headaches and migraines. Only one who has them all the time can really understand how they scramble you…and she did. So, she’s my gal!

Painting by Francois Gerard, c. 17C

But more importantly, St. Teresa of Avila is just one heck of a great saint. She is one of the three women Doctors of the Church (noting that her spiritual writings are both sound and very important, influential). For a woman of medieval times, that is no small accomplishment, not to mention: staying power! Her books such as Interior Castle and The Way of Perfection are just amazing reads. Not fast page turners, but mind blowers. You have to stop every few pages and just sort of…digest it all. And then soak it in, let it sink in….it’s great great stuff and will change your prayer life. She founded the Discalced Carmelites (Meaning “shoeless,” again, what’s not to like?) and had an ongoing friendship and correspondence with the mystic and poetically powerful St. John of the Cross {And if you want a really phenomenal book, tough, dense, but OH so worth it: read the compilation/commentary on these two together: Fire Within, by Dubay}.
But on another level, not the “resume” angle…St. Teresa of Avila appeals to me because she was first of all a real living, breathing woman. I know, they all are, doh. But what I mean is that she was a woman of opinions and ideas and kind of stubborn and pushy, even when that wasn’t always overtly sanctioned in the culture of her time. She was extremely social and loved to sit and chat and flirt even…she was quiet beautiful and knew how to use it too. She had to struggle against the urge to chat and flirt and spend too much time doing it, because she could lose afternoons to it. Sound familiar to any of you, especially you gals? Um, yeah. That stuff IS fun. Sounds pretty modern to me.

St. Teresa’s monastic cell at the Convento de la Encarnación, Ávila

And yet, even so, St. Teresa could hear in her inmost self the whisper of God who loved her as she was, more than anyone else could. And she responded, bravely, to that irresistible call. And it brought her the ecstasy of union with God in prayer. And that amazes me and intrigues me as I know firsthand how hard it is to push all those opinions and flippy chitchatty conversations out of my head to pay attention to God himself. Distraction? I’m the poster girl for it. But St. Teresa gives me hope and I have hope that she prays for me…for my attention to what is important, for responding to that call, that whisper, for my headaches, for being brave enough to listen through the din of my modern mundane life.
**cut me some slack……reposted due to insanely crazed intensive issue filled days…by which I mean: eight kids, special needs, and mostly: October**

Sculpture by Bernini, “St. Teresa in Ecstasy”

So, happy feast day!

St. Teresa of Avila, pray for us!

>Almost Wordless Wednesday

Posted on October 13, 2010 by coffeemom

Last Summer Day Edition.

Look at that water…..I could drown any of my sighs just looking at that water.

I might have to go try to paint it, the water….

this pic makes me think of David Hockney paintings from L.A….

{for more wordless wednesday, go here}

>Monday Moment: What does adoption look like?

Posted on October 11, 2010 by coffeemom

>Meeting: Adoption adjustment

Posted on October 8, 2010 by coffeemom

>There is a scene in a movie that I can’t get out of my head.
The movie is “What dreams May Come.”
Many absolutely despise this movie, and as a Catholic there is clearly questionable theology throughout….but even so, I liked the movie. It was a visual feast, from the oil paintings of the wife to the Bosch-like horrific visions of hell. But those things aren’t what keeps sticking in my head lately.

It’s the hell scene.
Now, disregard the dicey theology here. Go the essence of it: the meetup.

Robin Williams goes to hell to find his wife.
He GOES to hell and when she is incapable of seeing him, mired in her own pain and unable look up and out of herself (which IS hell)...then he sits there.
He sits with her.
He can’t talk with her, really, she can’t hear him.
He can’t just bodily lift her up and move her out of this place.
He meets her where she is.
Read that again:
He meets her where she is.

And it’s the meeting her where she is that gives her the rung to hold onto, him, and to look up, to blink to awareness of what’s real, for just a moment.

Now, hang with me here.
(And again, I realize that many think this is the worst movie of all time. I get it, be that as it may, this scene has been rattling in my brain – thus blog post).
You moms and folks who are trying to live with a kid from hard places…
You moms and families who are working through an older child adoption, especially teenage…
You moms who have kids who have trauma backgrounds and/or various special needs….
Think about that.
Because we all know that “meeting up” is one of the only ways to help.
We have to meet them where they are…at that moment.
Often, more than often, it’s a mini slice o’ hell.

And we have to go there too.
Because they can’t get out of there on their own.
Kids who have attachment issues, trauma triggers, who can’t regulate their triggered emotions and reactions…they can’t just get out of that personal hell.
We have to go to them.
Which means, we have to go to them, and often go through hell to do it, and yup, sit there a spell with them.
Because they are just kids, or teens even, but kids.

And that can sound so very lofty.
We think, at the start, and say with a trill, “Yes, darling, I will go to hell and back for you!”
But, um, ya know…going to hell and back?
Well it is, um, HELL.
It’s exhausting and makes you (ok, me) want to cry and say “Forget it, I’m done.”
I have family and friends sometimes say “Can’t you just tell ’em to toughen up? I mean, cmon!!”
Now as a mom of eight, my standard M.O. is not too much coddling– if kids are crying and such and I know that bone is not poking through skin and a hospital rush isn’t imminent, I say “You’re fine, you’ll be ok.“
Thus, my other kids, pals, and family might well expect me to fall into that mode.
However, this is different, exhaustingly so…….I sigh and say, “Well, I wish I could. But nope. Can’t.”
Because even though sometimes I try to selfishly avoid and tiptoe around whatever acting out or somatic fallout or whatever is playing out…..if it’s a trigger response (and not just moody teen)…then you can’t ignore it, you can’t go around it, or over it, (isn’t there a kiddy song like that??) you have to go through it.
You have go to it, meet it, and go through it…with them.
Again, sounds all noble, right?
Um, not.
It’s usually messy and causes fallout with the other kids and even between the parental unit types, even for yourself.
Because it’s hell.
But unless you go sit there and BE with them, somehow, it’s not gonna get better.
It might get worse.

So. Ya gotta go.
Meet them.
Wherever they are.

Maybe then, they will blink a bit and be able look up and to breathe a bit.
And then maybe you can both step out of hell, back into the “heaven in our hands”….. back into family.

>Feast o’ Beads: Our Lady of the Rosary

Posted on October 7, 2010 by coffeemom

>It’s the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary!

While there is much to say about the rosary and our Lady of the Rosary, I’m just gonna say this:
I pray the rosary.
Not as often as I should or as I mean to.
It comforts me, soothes me, strengthens me….
But it also is one of my best tools for intensively praying for others, and I have a long list and it does me good to remember them all.
Praying the rosary lifts my eyes off my sorry selfish self and helps me help others in a tiny yet big way.

So today I will pray a rosary, for the intentions of you all who are on my prayer list (you know who you are, well, most of you anyhow) and in thanksgiving for this beautiful meditative prayer.

Our Lady of the Rosary, pray for us.

>Francis…….

Posted on October 4, 2010 by coffeemom

It’s the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi!

Now St. Francis is, arguably, one of the most popular saints (no matter your denomination or even if you have any belief system at all) of all time. Period. He is, if you will, a rock star of saints. Which, yes I know, is oppositional to all that sainthood is about, but there you have it. He is. He is known and loved around the world.

NOTE: Now I have been to Assisi myself and I have a much greater love for Francis…and frankly the Basilica of Assisi, specifically the lower church/crypt…blew me away. I gasped at the beauty. There was fresco everywhere, every single arch and nook and surface. And I love me some fresco so I was just jaw dropped head back gasping in happy.

Great great stuff. So, much of this post is a repost about my prior feeelings about St. Francis, but now, well, know I feel like I know him a little bit better. I’ve been to his house. Seen his robes, prayed at his tomb. Been to Mass, right there with him. It brings you close. He’s kinda like extended family now…

My issue, and one that kind of has kept me from getting too close to St. Francis, is that he is too often sentimentalized into a sort of “saint-lite.” It seems like only the fluttery bird loving Francis is ever depicted. Churchs all over love to do the blessing of the animals in honor of St. Francis. Well, ok. I like animals too and we all know he loved them and talked to them and that’s very cool.

But really, St. Francis was a radical! He came from a very wealthy family and after living the wild life for years, to the despair of his folks, he had a radical conversion and threw it all away, literally (stripping to the skin in the public square and renouncing his inheritance…not the way I’d encourage youth to model today, but still….). He then went to devote himself to poverty and prayer and building up the Church, literally and figuratively, in joy. Even by the standards of the day, way back when, he was a holy radical. That’s the St. Francis that I like to think about, the one that draws me in and wonder, but is too often unrecognized.

Painting by Murillo, “St. Francis at Prayer”

My favorite thing about St. Francis, really, are these guys!! Also radicals for Joy, totally countercultural…… They are awesome and just light up a room when they are around. I tend to want to follow them around like a puppy. They are magnetic in their joy and just pull you to them!

Fransiscan Friars of the Renewal on tour of Ireland.

So, happy feast day!
St. Francis of Assisi, pray for us!

>Song for a Sunday

Posted on October 3, 2010 by coffeemom

>Well, I have a shameless Mom brag today…

My Hannahboo made the Freshman Honors Choir for our region. Auditions were Friday. Despite the choir teacher’s concerns about Hannah “distressing her voice” through her cheer practices and despite Hannah actually distressing her voice from just being too loud screaming at the pep rally on Friday (not even as a cheerleader..this was a football rally, she is a basketball cheerleader, to be precise…), and perhaps being a touch less prepared than she should have been (by which I mean, the auditions snuck up on her and she hadn’t practiced), she made the choir!

I’m so proud and happy for her!
Now, it’s not too big a deal, one performance in November. But it’s great experience at having to sing in front of real people, not just our empty living room at the piano. She’s great at that and sounds great playing that piano and singing her pop songs…but for real, in public, and classical choral music? That’s a whole ‘nother ball game.

Of course, now she says we have to go shopping for the outfit.
Hmmm, somehow it always comes back to the clothes doesn’t it?
Such a girl.

Anyhow, this is a happy tidbit for a hopefully peaceful Sunday at home.
Music from audition, not HER, but the piece that they had to sing, below.
Perfect for a Sunday.
I love Sundays.

>En garde!

Posted on October 2, 2010 by coffeemom

Happy Feast of the Guardian Angels!

” The Lord has put angels in charge of you, to guard you in all your ways.” Ps 91

>Little Big Love…

Posted on October 1, 2010 by coffeemom

>It’s the feast of the Little Flower: St. Therese of Liseaux!

Which means it’s also my Marti’s feast day: Marta Therese (get the connection?).

St Therese is one of the fav’s at our house, you all know that. I’ve written about her many times, and posted multiple novenas to her here on blog. But whether you want to talk about her being a Doctor of the Church; known for her solid writing/teaching and doctrinal insight, or whether you want to talk about her humble “Little Way”……St Therese is about Love.

And wadda ya know…so is our Faith. So is God. So, should be, myself.

And I kinda always thought we added “Therese” to our Marta’s name because we prayed novena’s to this saint on Marta’s behalf. We hit St. Therese up for many prayers to bring our girl home and get her healthy. St. Therese had TB too. St. Therese wasn’t highly regarded among the other nuns in her convent. She was thought to be slow or dim, she was often overlooked, she was young, she was small. She was one of God’s “little ones.”
And so is our Marta, to be sure…one of God’s “little ones.”
If I know anything, I know that.

But really….
I am learning, every single blooming day, that I think we were compelled to add “Therese” to Marta’s name also because this saint teaches us how to love.
In the little things.
Which of course, means that they are the very biggest things.
Because this saint struggled all her life to die to her self and her pride and her desires so she could love Jesus better.

And she ultimately was given the grace of real understanding of the biggest simplest secret: that the Love was waiting for her. She didn’t have to scale great heights, or go on far missions, or accomplish amazing feats to prove her love. All she had to do was lift up her arms(heart) and open herself to Love. And, um, do it. Love. Love in the little things. Every day. The next thing, right in front of her. Do the chore before her without complaint. Smile at the irritating Sister and bite her tongue. Not correct the error of someone being catty, but let it roll off her back.
It wasn’t easy for her, she didn’t possess any “saintly” or superhuman patience:

“I understood how easy it is to become all wrapped up on self, forgetting entirely the sublime goal of one’s calling.“

Rather she figured out that:

“…perfection consists in doing God’s will, in being what he wills us to be.”

and

“We can do no good when we seek our self.”

Or, in other terms, to be us, and to love.
Period.

And yeah, it sounds so simple. Like stupid simple, right?
Well, yup, it does. So why do I fail and kick and fuss and gripe against it every blooming day?
Because it’s the hardest most profound thing we can do, any day, any moment.
And yet, also the most sublime and simplest.

To bring this ramble back around…and so it is with my Marta Therese.
She too, teaches me how to love. Really.
Really love.
Because it can be so hard with her. Because she is small and suffers the after-effects of the TB that ravaged her. Because it’s still sometimes strange and it’s still often hard and it’s sometimes ridiculously complicated. Because I am slow and am ridiculously complicated and strange. Because she has delays and it makes things very slow and often limited.
But oh, I know, she is aptly named.
She is one of the small ones.
And she loves, to the best of her ability.
And I am called to love her.
And sometimes that is simply an act of will.
And sometimes it is with a tired fuss.
And sometimes it is with a stabbing intake of breath, glimpsing her for a moment as God does.
He sent me one of his special ones, to give me remedial lessons.
Because I too am slow.
And need so much to learn to truly really love.
The little way.
It’s so big.

So today we celebrate, I am thinking upon, St. Therese of Liseaux, and her intentions:

“I ask Jesus to draw me into the flames of his love, to unite me so closely to him that he live and act in me.”

And I am asking her for her prayers, for our Marti Therese, my family, and for me.
So that I can lift up my arms and heart, and love better, more truly, all those littles ones given to me…..eight of them.

See, remedial lessons, lifelong….me.
Doh.
And so I can say, “Thank you, here I am Love, lift me up.”

>And today a man, my son…

Posted on September 28, 2010 by coffeemom

Today is my first born son’s birthday.

It is one of the biggies: his 21st birthday.

Wow, yah, already!

And I know, I know, how did that happen already??

Where did the time go, blah de blah..the usual.

But, really….

OH MY GOSH! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? WHERE DID THE TIME GO??

My baby is 21.

Which means of course this is the landmark bday for being legal to drink….yah yah…

He already has a cultivated fondness for Italian Reds, preferably quaffed in Italy, and for German beer, preferably quaffed in Germany. Or Austria. Or Polish beer in Poland…you get the idea.

Not sure what he’ll do in South Bend tonight…..South Bend brew?? Hmmmm.

Somehow I think he will find some fun….

But my BABY is 21.

Already.

And he is a fine, fine young man.

But you probably already know that….or know that I’m partial there, at any rate.

But because he IS twenty-one…I simply can’t let the day slide by without a list.

You know it had to happen, because this is my blog and I love bday lists.

So, without further ado…..

Twenty-one things about my Chris, my Buddybug, on his twenty-first birthday:

1. He is a senior at Notre Dame and loves it.

2. He is a rabid sports fan; ESPN perhaps his favorite channel.

3. His personal fav game is basketball, followed perhaps by ping pong; but his viewing favs are all over the map.

4. Except for NASCAR. Happily, never, never did he or will he like NASCAR.

5. He is a musician; he has an ear and hands and a voice for music, gifted to him…plain and simple.

6. He likes all kinds of music, except maybe not so much country or heavy metal…for which I as his mom am forever grateful.

7. He is a genial chap.

8. He is a true friend, to so many, and he means it…once you’re his friend, that’s it. Done deal.

9. He is a lightening fast Bananagrams player, able to create word combos at a maddeningly fast clip…..house champion – much to my chagrin. (And tho I put that up as a bday present of sorts….I can still whup him from time to time, and he knows it. It’s good, it keeps him humble.)

10. He is very even keeled, patient, and calm..which is probably the armor God equipped him with in order to grow up w/ me as his mom and this tribe around him.

11. He loves his faith; it truly deeply and really means very much to him, and for that he inspires me.

12. He loves to travel, has done so all over the world, and will surely continue….just like his dad.

13. Even so, he loves to come home too and is content to hang out with his mom, read, and play volleyball in the pool with his sibs.

14. He is not materialistic….at all. He doesn’t have cravings for many things.

15. He is very very difficult to buy a bday present…see number 14.

16. He does however, and always has, like a good watch (exception to number 14…and good, not necessarily expensive, just “good” simple function.).

17. Even as a small boy he was fixated on time, to the point of our exhaustion at his referencing the time, ever so precisely, ALL the time, but particularly as you were running late to school….See number 16.

18. He is often late, despite number 17, and thus, number 19.

19. He is a procrastinator….at odds with number 17, or perhaps because of it (?).

20. He loves my cooking, especially my cakes and pie; which makes me ridiculously happy.

21. He has grown into an exceptional young man, a fine son, brother, friend….and we all love him beyond speaking.

Happy Happy 21st Birthday my Christopher.

You have grown into a fine young man.

I so very proud of you and love you so on this landmark birthday…..

We all miss you so much and I am sending you virtual hugs and kisses and birthday wishes today…

Eat some cake!

>Domenica

Posted on September 26, 2010 by coffeemom

Arezzo. Not my favorite town, but a great park and some great frescoes.

>Fall? Really? What’s for supper?

Posted on September 24, 2010 by coffeemom

>I have less time to blog and surf nowadays (the net….cmon…)…
But every now and then I need some inspiration for the relentless question in this house:

“What’s for dinner?”

So, I pass by my many cookbooks and go to the uber hip and happening ‘net to find some cutting edge inspiration, especially on Fridays (which in this house, are usually meatless).

And so, this is just to kind of note that right now, all over the web, we’ve got all those lovely cozy inspiring “fall” stews and ragus and braises and whatnot.
Lovely.

Except for that it is STILL in the mid to high 90’s here and if I could skip cooking entirely until it dips into the 70’s or, even better, the 60’s…well, I would.
My garden is long dead from neglect in the searing heat…
My inspiration to make healthy summer type fare was left in Italy for the most part….

And I’m whining a bit today I guess because I need to figure out a no meat simple easy quick simply tasty simple (did I mention I got very little sleep last night due to a wakeful fussy Gabey and a croupy Em?) supper for dinner tonight.
Not the soup’s I love so much, because it’s not autumn yet here, despite what the calendar says and what the web is cooking…too hot for soups.

Nope….I need some ideas.
So, if anybody is out there…..take pity.
It’s still smothering hot here.
But a mom has to make something easy and kid crowd pleasing and meat free and easy for supper.
And it’s NOT autumn yet…it’s kinda summer, kinda not….and my creative brain is sizzled with the heat….

Little help?
What’s cooking, meatless and easy, at your house?

>Rockin’ Wednesday

Posted on September 22, 2010 by coffeemom

“What we do while the big kids are at school”…..
or
“Gabey loves his sister.”……

>International Adoption Conference this weekend!

Posted on September 21, 2010 by coffeemom

>This is where I will be this Saturday!
It’s local and has some great forums and best of all, my dear pal and social worker, Amanda Heiderich, is the keynote speaker!
Whoohoo!
Not to be missed.
It’s called “International Adoption: What to expect when you leave the airport.”

The forums are on:
Older Child Adoptions
Trans Racial and Trans Cultural Adoptions
Special Needs
A Parent’s Perspective

I know! How am I gonna choose?! Every one, right up my alley. Oy….choices choices.
Anyhow, I’ve arranged the sitters (thank you Olivia and Tom) and I’m going. I’m excited, I’m gonna Tivo the ND game and go to the conference and clap really loud for Amanda too, because everyone else will be doing the same thing. She is terrific and a great resource for anyone who has interest in these topics. This should be a great day of info and hopefully hanging out with interesting folks who are standing on the same page….I”m really looking forward to it!

Be there or be square!
{No, that doesn’t date me….all the really cool hip people are saying that again!}

>Domenica

Posted on September 19, 2010 by coffeemom

I LOVE Siena.

>Older Child Adoption Adjustment: Niches

Posted on September 17, 2010 by coffeemom

>You know, this world of older child adoption is weird. Ok, I guess the world of adoption itself can be strange and ok, ok, the world of parenting in general has it’s oddities. Ok ok ok….maybe it’s just my kids and our house. Ok ok ok ok! It’s me! It’s always me. Geez!
I’m weird, and a dorky goofball who has to overthink things and even so Still can’t figure them out to my satisfaction.
Hence, I have to post and blather on so you all can take pity on me and throw me a bone and pitch in some ideas.
So, now that we know what we are dealing with today, are we ready to move forward with today’s post? Yes? Ok, then….

I’ve been thinking about how to talk about this…not because it’s all so profound or important, but as you might gather from my disclaimer in the paragraph above, it’s all about me and I’m stewing about this but it’s a delicate subject. It’s also the same subject that I have a chronic, just-below-the-surface rant simmering. I’ll spare you that, you can go here for my lead in on that one if you can’t stand the curiosity.
But in the past few days or weeks, I’ve decided that it comes down to niches.

Yup, that’s right: niches.

What I mean by that, is that I think we all want a niche. We are surely all so doggone quick to slot everyone else into a niche, aren’t we? Well, I sure am…..really I think we all do it all the time, I know I do consciously or not. Sue me. It’s true. It’s kind of how we make sense in a shorthand way of our world…that’s my theory anyhow, today at least, and I’m sticking to it.
Anyhow…..I think this slotting of things and folks into niches is not just the slick snobbery or critique that it seems on the surface. I think it has a lot to do with the yearning to connect. I think it is probably socially quite primal. Us, them, other….and while my thoughts on “other” do factor in here, they are also sometimes a rant and also really too big for this post. Another post, another day. Lucky you. But, today I want to talk about the inclusive side or concept of niches.

Meaning, today I want to talk about one particular niche: older child adoption.
And I’m telling ya: this niche…it’s kinda lonely.
This niche has little sub-niches. Honestly, being a very visual gal, I see it almost as sort of a cave/niche (yeah, blog) system. There is this big sheltered cave: adoptive families, and then there are the big warm welcoming cozy caves connected to that: the domestic, the international, the babies, the toddlers caves, the various countries….heck you’ve already got a nice little cozy cave city to check out and circulate through and set down and stay a spell (as they say here in the south).

But then back in the beyond of these nice cozy lit up niches and caves, carved and polished smooth and well fortified with gleaming information and supports, are some other niches that are smaller, not as many are back there hanging out, and if they are, it’s so busy and so tough or so unique that there isnt’ a whole lotta room, in fact, I’d say they don’t even really see each other too much.
And one of those niches is a newly carved out niche, and it fits a family of ten it seems…..but it’s far from being polished and it’s got rough walls and a few nice smooth spots of support but really, it’s feels kind of empty; kind of smallish.
That’s our niche.
That’s my niche.
It’s the niche of “older international adoption of teen with developmental delays.”

Zoom!
See how fast that niche cleared out? See how all of those who were kind of peeking in quickly withdrew and moved on? Not because they were mean or threatened or uncaring…but just because they instantly saw, um, no common ground there. Hard to sit down and get comfy and compare notes or stories or tools because they don’t have that toolkit.
When I add in, “and with a background from hard places“….well, that just scares most anyone else off too. Not everyone….this gal is one of the bravest women I’ve seen in the blogosphere. I love her. Her niche is overlapping mine, close enough that I find comfort there too. Go see.
As one of the gals from our agency put it, when I asked if they had any connections to folks in the same or similar boat…”um, noooo, that’s a pretty singular niche.”
Right.
So, that’s why I’m thinking of niches.
Because I want to compare notes with brighter minds who’ve gone before me, who have tools and ideas for this niche and our particular snags that surely would be common if there were others in this niche too.

I want to connect with others who have adopted a teen (preferably internationally so we can talk about language acquisition) who has developmental delays.

Now I can also go off on one of my numbered rants about the loneliness of being in this niche, and not being able to say it out loud. Having to whisper “developmental delays” out of some sort of weird political correctness just chafes me. It is what it is. It’s not a judgement, it’s not a slur. It’s objective and shouldn’t be a stigma and if you saw her smile you would never think otherwise. She’s a teen, with all that entails.
She is a moody hormonal teenage girl who has a caring bossy sweet devout selfish intense stubborn sensitive nature.
Like, um, most teenage girls.
She is exhausting and good.
Like most teenage girls.
She is manipulative and wants to get her way and preferably go shopping as often as possible.
Like most teenage girls.
She has developmental delays and we didn’t raise her from birth and thus learn all about this for the past 13+ years, only for the past year, so that is why my map is limited, and my toolbox is sparse. It’s why it can be lonely for us all, working with that. It’s frustrating and glorious both on any given day. Maybe often even at the same time.

But this niche is lonely…I don’t know anyone else in this niche.
I wish I did.
And yeah, before you get all lofty, we still venture out to all the other niches because our family walks through and fits many many different niches and labels and communities. We live in them all. Messily.
I don’t even want to leave this niche; I want company. I want to make this niche beautiful with the companionship and shiny ideas and successes of others who’ve rested here too.
I’m not sure they are out there.
If you are, and you happen upon this blog, please drop me a line and say hello.
Our niche is actually a pretty friendly place.

Actually, I lied up there. Misspoke, perhaps. But I would love to leave this niche. I would love to only have wide open streets with sunshine and walk away from every harder stony niche forever.
But that’s not gonna happen in this life. Because we create our own niches to define our comfort zones…it’s when the niches are thrust upon us or we into them, alone, unwilling, that we find ourselves, ok, myself, out of sorts and feeling lonely.
So, I think the trick is to stop whispering.
To move that niche if it’s darker or not comfy or lonely.
Really, I suppose….If it’s my/our niche then we define it and we open it up to company and ideas and other contributions of beauty and support and I learn to see and create the beauty within it.
So I will continue to wish for companions in this niche, but I’m trying to move it to the sun….and maybe, here in the blogosphere someone else will see a sunny niche where real life is said out loud, not in a hushed whisper, and decide to stop by and stay and visit for a spell.

>For any mom

Posted on September 15, 2010 by coffeemom

drawing by Kate Kollwitz, 1903

Today is the day we remember Our Lady of Sorrows.

Oh, there is so much to this one…

As a mom, this resonates with me.

Ok, maybe as an older mom it resonates.

As a mom of sons who’ve gone to college, who has just sobbed goodbye to them…

as a mom of kids who come from hard places and have endured hardship and trauma…

as a mom who has held other mom’s babies and children across the world in dark hot smelly orphanages, waving flies off their face as I feel their damp bottoms but also their arms clinging to my neck, or see them lying limp in my arms just gazing out – disconnected…

as a mom of kids who have struggled with different needs, some of them very hard and/or intense…

as a mom of kids who’ve gone through life-threatening events and as a mom who has sat vigil bedside in the PICU….

gosh as a mom who has lain awake countless nights worrying over her kids…

over things big or small….

As a friend to moms who have lost children…

as a friend to moms who’s kids have been in the PICU, or hospital too….

as a friend to moms who have had kids go through the hardest scariest time in their lives and/or those of their parents…

goodness, as a mom who WATCHES THE NEWS, for pity’s sake…

….this memorial is for us.

Because this Blessed Mother, she is us.

She is every mom.

She is the mom giving her portion of food for her hungry child.

She is the mom sitting bedside by her sick child.

She is the mom who weeps sending her child off, to work, to college, to a new life in a new country.

She is the mom who wishes she could hurt so her child doesn’t have to.

She is the mom who carries them, bodily, but also in mind and heart….all day, every day, all night, every night.

She is the mama.

She is us.

She gets it.

And she helps us carry it all….all those things that no one but a mom can fathom, truly…well, she does.

As I wept and wept a few weeks ago, worried over my son, him moving out and having to say goodbye to him in a new place that didn’t feel like home, at all, to him or to me…my other son said this: “Our Lady of Sorrows mom….the litany, it will help.” I said, “She didn’t send her son to college!” (I know, I’m a selfish idiot) He smiled and said “Yuh, she watched him be crucified.”

So…with that, I give you this, it helped me then, and it is a reminder that she is not just the remote Mother of God.

She is everywoman.

Everymom. Us.

Litany of Our Lady Of Seven Sorrows
By Pope Pius VII

Leader	Response
Lord, have mercy on us.	Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, hear us.	Christ, graciously hear us.
God, the Father of heaven,	Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,	Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit,	Have mercy on us.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,	Pray for us.
Holy Virgin of virgins,	Pray for us.
Mother of the Crucified,	Pray for us.
Sorrowful Mother	Pray for us.
Mournful Mother	Pray for us.
Sighing Mother	Pray for us.
Afflicted Mother	Pray for us.
Foresaken Mother	Pray for us.
Desolate Mother	Pray for us.
Mother most sad	Pray for us.
Mother set around with anguish	Pray for us.
Mother overwhelmed by grief	Pray for us.
Mother transfixed by a sword	Pray for us.
Mother crucified in thy heart	Pray for us.
Mother bereaved of thy Son	Pray for us.
Sighing Dove	Pray for us.
Mother of Dolors	Pray for us.
Fount of tears	Pray for us.
Sea of bitterness	Pray for us.
Field of tribulation	Pray for us.
Mass of suffering	Pray for us.
Mirror of patience	Pray for us.
Rock of constancy	Pray for us.
Remedy in perplexity	Pray for us.
Joy of the afflicted	Pray for us.
Ark of the desolate	Pray for us.
Refuge of the abandoned	Pray for us.
Shield of the oppressed	Pray for us.
Conqueror of the incredulous	Pray for us.
Solace of the wretched	Pray for us.
Medicine of the sick	Pray for us.
Help of the faint	Pray for us.
Strength of the weak	Pray for us.
Protectress of those who fight	Pray for us.
Haven of the shipwrecked	Pray for us.
Calmer of tempests	Pray for us.
Companion of the sorrowful	Pray for us.
Retreat of those who groan	Pray for us.
Terror of the treacherous	Pray for us.
Standard-bearer of the Martyrs	Pray for us.
Treasure of the Faithful	Pray for us.
Light of Confessors	Pray for us.
Pearl of Virgins	Pray for us.
Comfort of Widows	Pray for us.
Joy of all Saints	Pray for us.
Queen of thy Servants	Pray for us.
Holy Mary, who alone art unexampled	Pray for us.

Pray for us, most Sorrowful Virgin,	That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray.
O God, in whose Passion, According to the prophecy of Simeon, A sword of grief pierced through The most sweet soul Of Thy glorious Blessed Virgin Mother Mary: Grant that we, who celebrate The memory of her Seven Sorrows, May obtain the happy effect of Thy Passion, Who lives and reigns world without end. Amen.

>Triumph? A cross, really…..?

Posted on September 14, 2010 by coffeemom

Dali, of course.

Yup.
Today is the feast of the Triumph of the Cross.
Which always seems all counter-intuitive. Like we Catholics and Christians have lost our collective minds. Really? A cross? That horrible gory ghastly unspeakable death? Or, that so common it’s lost it’s punch story of the crucifixion….yeah yeah yeah, I know I know. Easy to kind of give a mental nod to it and move on, right?
Well, yeah……..except when it’s YOUR cross.
Because that’s what this is about: You. Your cross too.
By which I mean, mine.
And then it all takes on QUITE a different tone doesn’t it?
Because these “crosses”…..doggone if they don’t HURT!
Like HELL!

Yeah, see, you get the idea.
Takes me a while and I still forget, but yeah.
That’s the idea. Because you don’t get to Christ without the Cross.
Dang.
But you don’t.
And really, you don’t even want to. No, really, think about it, you don’t…because it is in our suffering that we strip away the dross, the unimportant, and find the realest of real, the true. It is in that process that we find what is most important about our lives, ourselves….and it is always the same truth: Love. And that of course, is God. God is love. Done.

Why it takes the Cross to get that through our stubborn mulish heads I don’t know. I guess because I am so stubborn. Such a mule. Such a slow slow learner.
So proud. So controlling.
All of that has to be kicked out of me, again and again before I can set it all down and give over….
so that I can let real love wash over me, the way it’s supposed to instead of the way I’d like to direct it…. to learn to actually LOVE, in action and deeds instead of only good intentions….to just do it {and yes, I”m still working on it, thanks for asking…sigh}.

And it’s that. In the doing, where we find the love, even as we might be carrying the cross. Then too is when we see the triumph, yeah, even the exaltation and joy of that very cross, so despised before. We see it’s beauty. Because it transformed…..everything. It transformed suffering. It transformed ugly, and pain, and horror, and fear, and weeping, and exhaustion. It took it all and flipped it inside out….into our very reason for shouting and clapping for joy, for hugging with grateful tears, for that catch in our chest when we know that it’s ok, not even ok, but oh so unspeakably good.
Because it is love. It is our suffering, which is our giving to the last drop of ourselves that we go the cross, Christ’s cross, and only then do we get to really learn what it means to really love, in the way that is real.
Triumph.
Love that word.
Today’s the day to remember it.
Triumph.

Siena

“We adore you Oh Christ, and we praise you, because by your Holy Cross, you have redeemed the world.”

>Domenica

Posted on September 12, 2010 by coffeemom

Sundays are the best day of the week, family day, whether you are living la dolce vita in Italia or here at home. Ahhh

>Praying for Bishop

Posted on September 11, 2010 by coffeemom

>Today is a day of much import:
It’s the anniversary of 9/11, of course.
It’s Ethiopian New Year: Melkem Addis Amet!
It’s game day for the Irish.

Most of all however, for us here in the coffeehouse, today is a day of prayer for our dear Bishop who is recovering from heart surgery.
He needs our prayers and I ask, if you have a moment and the inclination, to pray for this holy and dear good man.
He is one of the good guys.
He is my spiritual father…..our family’s spiritual father and we love him.
Please pray for the swift and full recovery of our Bishop, David Choby.

Praying for Bishop…….

>Political interjection…Korans and 9/11

Posted on September 9, 2010 by coffeemom

**Update: I’m relieved that the plan to burn the Korans has been shelved. Hopefully, it will stay that way and we can have a day of peace and prayer on this sad anniversary**

Ok, I don’t do politics too much on this blog.

However, now and again, I can’t help it, I have to say something….
especially when life and faith and politics intersect in such a firestorm.
(Ok, strike that, all too often they intersect in a firestorm and they intersect, um, daily….still…).

Others more erudite and thoughtful than myself have said this so much better.
But I’m weighing in.
I’ve been trying to find a simpler place overall….to simplify and quiet some (I know, hard to believe, but I’m TRYING, people). Hence my blog has been a touch quieter, or a lot. I’m trying to be more present to the kids instead of my usual distracted….hence less blogging.

But I have to speak up and say this quickly and simply:

The Koran burning that is all up in the news for Saturday on the anniversary of 9-11?

I’m against it.
I think its inflammatory (no pun intended) and not helping and wrong.

And even Il Papa, Pope Benedict, is against it…..and I trust his judgement (big surprise, I know).

B16 is shown above receiving a copy of Islam’s sacred text

during his 2008 meeting with the interreligious community at

Washington’s Pope John Paul II Cultural Center.

Go here and read this, I’ll excerpt it here but go read the whole thing (this pic and excerpt shamelessly stolen from the great Whispers in the Loggia blog):

The Pontifical Council for Interreligious Dialogue received with great concern the news of the proposed “Koran Burning Day” on the occasion of the Anniversary of the September 11th tragic terrorist attacks in 2001 which resulted in the loss of many innocent lives and considerable material damage.

These deplorable acts of violence, in fact, cannot be counteracted by an outrageous and grave gesture against a book considered sacred by a religious community. Each religion, with its respective sacred books, places of worship and symbols, has the right to respect and protection. We are speaking about the respect to be accorded the dignity of the person who is an adherent of that religion and his/her free choice in religious matters.

And I’m just gonna point out that some of these old tried and true adages still hold and apply, even in international issues: “Treat other people how you want to be treated.” Simplistic? Perhaps, but ya know, respect goes a loooong way, and respecting the dignity of persons and faiths is still appropriate even after such unspeakable grief as experienced in the tragedy of 9/11…perhaps even more than appropriate, it is critical for all of us to retain our foundation of humanity.

If we cannot treat the greater community that is our new small world with respect, then we are lowering ourselves as a culture to play on the extremists playing field. What a loss, literally and figuratively. If we cannot rise above and live our lives, even as a culture, with respect to the dignity inherent in each human person, no matter their differences, then we have lost…..so much, too much…and we continue to cause potentially irreparable damage.

My fav, JP2 possibly said it best (again shamelessy nabbed from Whispers in the Loggia):

“Recourse to violence in the name of religious belief is a perversion of the very teachings of the major religions”

Prayer of Pope Benedict at Ground Zero, during his visit to USA:

“O God of love, compassion, and healing,
look on us, people of many different faiths and traditions,
who gather today at this site,
the scene of incredible violence and pain.

We ask you in your goodness
to give eternal light and peace
to all who died here-
the heroic first-responders:
our fire fighters, police officers,
emergency service workers, and Port Authority personnel,
along with all the innocent men and women
who were victims of this tragedy
simply because their work or service
brought them here on September 11, 2001.

We ask you, in your compassion
to bring healing to those
who, because of their presence here that day,
suffer from injuries and illness.
Heal, too, the pain of still-grieving families
and all who lost loved ones in this tragedy.
Give them strength to continue their lives with courage and hope.

We are mindful as well
of those who suffered death, injury, and loss
on the same day at the Pentagon and in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.
Our hearts are one with theirs
as our prayer embraces their pain and suffering.

God of peace, bring your peace to our violent world:
peace in the hearts of all men and women
and peace among the nations of the earth.
Turn to your way of love
those whose hearts and minds
are consumed with hatred.

God of understanding,
overwhelmed by the magnitude of this tragedy,
we seek your light and guidance
as we confront such terrible events.
Grant that those whose lives were spared
may live so that the lives lost here
may not have been lost in vain.
Comfort and console us,
strengthen us in hope,
and give us the wisdom and courage
to work tirelessly for a world
where true peace and love reign
among nations and in the hearts of all. ”

>Holy Cake!

Posted on September 8, 2010 by coffeemom

It’s the feast of the Nativity of Mary!

Today is the day we celebrate and remember the nativity of our Blessed Mother, Mary. The birth of the Theotokos, Mother of God. I know some have questions or issues with this whole concept…but I am all about loving our Blessed Mother, and all about celebrating birthdays, so I can run with it! Go here for a quick bit on it as well.

I am so grateful for her and for her birthday that we will celebrate with flowers for her and maybe even a yummy dessert….Because living the liturgical year is fun and cool and gives much needed texture, rhythm, and depth to the warp and woof of our lives.

And here is a lovely prayer for the day: from the Liturgy of the Hours:

Father of Mercy, give your people help and strength from heaven.
The birth of the Virgin Mary’s son
was the dawn of our salvation.
May this celebration of her birthday
bring us closer to lasting peace.
Grant this through Our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever. Amen.

— the Liturgy of the Hours

Birth of Virgin Mary to St. Anne in Santa Maria Novella, Florence. By Domenico Ghirlandio

So, this is a bit rambly…but well, think of your Mother today…your Blessed Mother and maybe say a prayer of thanksgiving for her. Because like all of us moms, she loves us even when we don’t love her nearly well enough back….and, yes, in case you’re wondering, we will have cake!

Happy Birthday Mary!

“Nativitas tua genitrix virgo gaudium annunziavit universo mundo”

(Thy birth, O Virgin and Mother of God, brings joy to all the world).

>Servant of Servants

Posted on September 3, 2010 by coffeemom

Drawing by Matt Alderman, a fellow “Domer.”

His pen and ink work is always fantastic.

It’s the feast of Pope St. Gregory the Great!
Or, as we know him around our house: St. Gregory, Chris’ patron.
We hit him up for prayers, ok, I hit him up for prayers for my eldest son quite often.
By which I mean, I’m a dreadful nudge about it all. But he is a faithful patron, and I am grateful for his prayers for my son.

It’s the feast day of Pope St. Gregory the Great.

I don’t remember all of Buddybug’s reasons for choosing St. Gregory the Great as his patron. But I suspect that his love of music was one of the links. St. Gregory promoted sacred music, now known to us as, duh: “Gregorian Chant.” And Buddybug (and his mom and dad) love Gregorian Chant. So, no surprise there.

St. Gregory is one of the few who have “the Great” attached to their name, and is also a doctor of the Church (meaning a great teacher). He sent missionaries into England and Ireland, and then Germany – spreading the hope and faith throughout Europe. He was highly educated and founded seven monasteries. Eventually he even was elected Pope. As Pope, he tirelessly worked in service for the Church. Indeed, he is the one who so aptly coined the most appropriate and under-used title for the Pope: “Servant of the servants of God.”

I always just mostly think of my son when I think of St. Gregory the Great. And another little but extra pleasing link for me: St. Gregory’s mother was St. Silvia. My mother’s first name is Sylvia (hence, Buddybug’s grandma is Silvia). I know, teensy nothings, but yet, they make me smile. And since this saint and my boy are connected in my daily prayers, they are kind of supernaturally and eternally connected I think too (and certainly are in my head).

So, I thank St. Gregory for his prayers for my boy.

And I wish him and my Buddybug:

Happy Feast Day!!

St. Gregory the Great, pray for us!

Another Espresso, Please

Why, yes, I did just have one, thanks…

>Novena begins today: St. Jude

>Sonar: Older Child Adoption Adjustment

>Almost Wordless Wednesday

>When your boy comes home.

>Double Feast: St Luke

>Monday Moment:

>Not the fun one.

>Another amazing Theresa

>Almost Wordless Wednesday

>Monday Moment: What does adoption look like?

>Meeting: Adoption adjustment

>Feast o’ Beads: Our Lady of the Rosary

>Francis…….

>Song for a Sunday

>En garde!

>Little Big Love…

>And today a man, my son…

>Domenica

>Fall? Really? What’s for supper?

>Rockin’ Wednesday

>International Adoption Conference this weekend!

>Domenica

>Older Child Adoption Adjustment: Niches

>For any mom

>Triumph? A cross, really…..?

>Domenica

>Praying for Bishop

>Political interjection…Korans and 9/11

>Holy Cake!

“Nativitas tua genitrix virgo gaudium annunziavit universo mundo”

(Thy birth, O Virgin and Mother of God, brings joy to all the world).

>Servant of Servants

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“Nativitas tua genitrix virgo gaudium annunziavit universo mundo” (Thy birth, O Virgin and Mother of God, brings joy to all the world).

Share this:

Share this:

“Nativitas tua genitrix virgo gaudium annunziavit universo mundo”

(Thy birth, O Virgin and Mother of God, brings joy to all the world).