Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary Day 6

Posted on August 11, 2012 by coffeemom

This is a novena for my son, Brother Peter Joseph, and all his brothers as they approach their First Vows; to be professed on the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary on August 15, 2012. If any of you have a mind to, please join me in praying for these young men as they step forward in faith to a radical remarkable life. ***

Wall: The Assumption of the Virgin. Fragments. 1884. Sophia Kiev

Mary, Queen Assumed into Heaven, I rejoice that after years of heroic martyrdom on earth, you have at last been taken to the throne prepared for you in heaven by the Holy Trinity.

Lift my heart with you in the glory of your Assumption above the dreadful touch of sin and impurity. Teach me how small earth becomes when viewed from heaven. Make me realize that death is the triumphant gate through which I shall pass to your Son, and that someday my body shall rejoin my soul in the unending bliss of heaven.

From this earth, over which I tread as a pilgrim, I look to you for help. In honor of your Assumption into heaven I ask for this favor: (Mention your request).

When my hour of death has come, lead me safely to the presence of Jesus to enjoy the vision of my God for all eternity together with you.

Amen.

*** I post this, and will for each day, with full knowledge that this is one of those uber Catholic things, all of this: the novena and the affection for Mary and the concept of the Assumption. I know, this can be divisive. I don’t mean to cause that…. But, my son is giving his life to his faith, answering that call in the boldest way I can see. So, I don’t mean to put any of you off, but, this is my faith and I believe it too. I love it, and try hard to life it as best as I can, even as I fail daily. But yeah, this is Catholic, this is me, praying for my son and all my Dominican sons. ****

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary Day 5

Posted on August 10, 2012 by coffeemom

El Greco, Assumption of the Virigin

Mary, Queen Assumed into Heaven, I rejoice that after years of heroic martyrdom on earth, you have at last been taken to the throne prepared for you in heaven by the Holy Trinity.

Lift my heart with you in the glory of your Assumption above the dreadful touch of sin and impurity. Teach me how small earth becomes when viewed from heaven. Make me realize that death is the triumphant gate through which I shall pass to your Son, and that someday my body shall rejoin my soul in the unending bliss of heaven.

From this earth, over which I tread as a pilgrim, I look to you for help. In honor of your Assumption into heaven I ask for this favor: (Mention your request).

When my hour of death has come, lead me safely to the presence of Jesus to enjoy the vision of my God for all eternity together with you.

Amen.

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary Day 4

Posted on August 9, 2012 by coffeemom

Correggio, Assumption of the Virgin

Mary, Queen Assumed into Heaven, I rejoice that after years of heroic martyrdom on earth, you have at last been taken to the throne prepared for you in heaven by the Holy Trinity.

Lift my heart with you in the glory of your Assumption above the dreadful touch of sin and impurity. Teach me how small earth becomes when viewed from heaven. Make me realize that death is the triumphant gate through which I shall pass to your Son, and that someday my body shall rejoin my soul in the unending bliss of heaven.

From this earth, over which I tread as a pilgrim, I look to you for help. In honor of your Assumption into heaven I ask for this favor: (Mention your request).

When my hour of death has come, lead me safely to the presence of Jesus to enjoy the vision of my God for all eternity together with you.

Amen.

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary Day 3

Posted on August 8, 2012 by coffeemom

Randall David Tipton, Assumption of the Virgin
Used with permission of the artist

Mary, Queen Assumed into Heaven, I rejoice that after years of heroic martyrdom on earth, you have at last been taken to the throne prepared for you in heaven by the Holy Trinity.

Lift my heart with you in the glory of your Assumption above the dreadful touch of sin and impurity. Teach me how small earth becomes when viewed from heaven. Make me realize that death is the triumphant gate through which I shall pass to your Son, and that someday my body shall rejoin my soul in the unending bliss of heaven.

From this earth, over which I tread as a pilgrim, I look to you for help. In honor of your Assumption into heaven I ask for this favor: (Mention your request).

When my hour of death has come, lead me safely to the presence of Jesus to enjoy the vision of my God for all eternity together with you.

Amen.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Posted on August 8, 2012 by coffeemom

The best part of summer….

…watching these two learn to Boogie Board!

go here for the linkup

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary Day 2

Posted on August 7, 2012 by coffeemom

BOTTICINI, Francesco (about 1446 – 1497 )
The Assumption of the Virgin, probably about 1475-6

Mary, Queen Assumed into Heaven, I rejoice that after years of heroic martyrdom on earth, you have at last been taken to the throne prepared for you in heaven by the Holy Trinity.

Lift my heart with you in the glory of your Assumption above the dreadful touch of sin and impurity. Teach me how small earth becomes when viewed from heaven. Make me realize that death is the triumphant gate through which I shall pass to your Son, and that someday my body shall rejoin my soul in the unending bliss of heaven.

From this earth, over which I tread as a pilgrim, I look to you for help. In honor of your Assumption into heaven I ask for this favor: (Mention your request).

When my hour of death has come, lead me safely to the presence of Jesus to enjoy the vision of my God for all eternity together with you.

Amen.

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary

Posted on August 6, 2012 by coffeemom

Today I begin a novena for my son, Brother Peter Joseph, and all his brothers as they approach their First Vows; to be professed on the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary on August 15, 2012. If any of you have a mind to, please join me in praying for these young men as they step forward in faith to a radical remarkable life. ***

Mary, Queen Assumed into Heaven, I rejoice that after years of heroic martyrdom on earth, you have at last been taken to the throne prepared for you in heaven by the Holy Trinity.

Lift my heart with you in the glory of your Assumption above the dreadful touch of sin and impurity. Teach me how small earth becomes when viewed from heaven. Make me realize that death is the triumphant gate through which I shall pass to your Son, and that someday my body shall rejoin my soul in the unending bliss of heaven.

From this earth, over which I tread as a pilgrim, I look to you for help. In honor of your Assumption into heaven I ask for this favor: (Mention your request).

When my hour of death has come, lead me safely to the presence of Jesus to enjoy the vision of my God for all eternity together with you.

Amen.

Feast for Dominican Moms, with the FIRST one.

Posted on August 2, 2012 by coffeemom

Today is the feast day of Blessed Jane of Aza – St Dominic’s mom!

Thanks so much to Jenna for calling it to my attention! I had forgotten that this feast was here. I had forgotten that last year my Chris (then Chris, still) had called me to wish me a happy feast day. I had forgotten until Peter Joseph called me again this morning. {I just LOVE it that he calls me on feast days!} We had a good chat, and we decided that she is a great patron for me and other Dominican moms, and a great grandmother of sorts for him. Hey, it’s always nice to have another patron saint on your side!

So, for all you Dominican moms, new or old, here she is! Blessed Jane was the FIRST Dominican Mom. For a good write up about her, go to the best site: the Dominican Province of St Joseph site and check her out. She was holy and prayerful, known for her compassion, and for having all three of her sons enter religious life as priests. I’ll tell you my favorite bit about her: when she was expecting, she dreamt that she was having a puppy and it arrived with a torch in it’s mouth (hence the nickname “Gods dogs…or Godzdogz”).

Now, I’m not all holy like she was but I dreamt I was having puppies too! Both times with my big boys…though they didn’t arrive carrying torches, probably more like snacks and skateboards. Even so, I think it’s a connection that makes me smile. We Dominican’s we are all about finding the laughter and joy…so, it’s apropos of today. I know I’ve got a big smile on my face this morning.

Happy Feast Day Dominican Moms!

St. Jane of Aza, pray for us.

Wordless Wednesday

Posted on August 1, 2012 by coffeemom

This one’s for you Leslie…

Go here for the linkup

“What’s your love language, Mrs G?”

Posted on July 30, 2012 by coffeemom

That’s the question of the summer, I think.

My summer, in a way, was started with that question. In May, a lovely young woman asked me that question at a “Theology on Tap” evening. I kind of blinked. I said, “I don’t know….” and then I rambled a bit, thinking out loud. She, being young and smart and quick, said, “Oh! You’re ‘Acts of Service’!” And I said, “Hmm…maybe….”

Thus, I knew I’d better finally go and read the book. Nothing like being stumped by a twenty-something to light a fire under me. And so I did.

This book, it’s been around for a bit. I knew of it, and it’s companions. But I’d not taken the time to sit and read it through, even though it was not long. Frankly, I kind of blew it off. There are SO many theories and modes and ways to approach parenting stuff that it’s simply impossible to be on top of it all. I’d been absorbed in the therapeutic parenting realm for a good while now and this seemed so simplistic that I could get a good gloss from the title; more excuses, not my mode, and so on.

But her question made me think I might need to give it another chance. What I found was this: there is quite a bit there worth thinking about and, more, worth applying. It’s not the be all and end all answer to everything. But it’s another very good set of tools in the toolbox and I’m all about that! I’ll take every tool I/we can get!

So, to put it in the short gloss here: love languages are the modes that we each have, instinctively, naturally, in which we understand, give, and receive love. It’s how we communicate love. Sounds drippy? Maybe, but it’s got some real substance and value to consider. We are all about communication in our house. We have one kid who is language impaired. We have others who just don’t have great communication skills. Plus, we have multiple teenagers….talk about communication snafu’s! Ok, kidding, kinda, maybe not so much….. So, if I can find ways to their love languages, and speak to them more clearly??? What’s not to love?

The five love languages, as put forth by Chapman and Campbell, are, in no particular order: Touch, Time, Words (of affirmation), Gifts, and Acts of Service.

First, as it’s always all about me…I realized, that savvy young gal was right. My love language IS Acts of Service. Which explains so much. It’s why I DO for my family (Which works out well, as there is SO MUCH to do. God’s no dummy). It’s why I am tickled pink to cook favorites of returning college boys, and to give second helpings to guests. It’s why I get so bent when I return home from the market and the kitchen has been trashed even though I asked to have it tidied. It’s why I get my feelings hurt when no one, ever, sees the laundry bucket on the stairs and takes it up, and why the rogue shoes are no big deal until they make me come unglued. {Why yes, I’m just all that petty, thanks for asking.} But now I know, the temper is because I feel like no one is caring about me enough to do for me…when the reality is, they just don’t speak my love language. All this time it’s like I was talking to them in Greek and they were just smiling and nodding because they couldn’t understand anyhow. So I’d get bent and upset and they’d be dismayed -wondering what was my problem and why I was so upset? Because they didn’t/don’t understand my love language and I didn’t even realize it was mine.

That very insight made me realize I’d better figure out theirs, and quick. Because no one likes being misunderstood and/or feeling unloved.

So, I’ve been evaluating and testing it out. And I’ve got folks across the spectrum of love languages, no surprise. I’m the only Acts of Service (bummer, but best to know). I’ve got 4-6 Touch, 3-4 Time, 3 Words, 2 gifts. If that math doesn’t seem to add up, it’s because you can have more than one love language. And of course, there is overlap of for us all and everyone needs all of them…but the primary language is one that is WELL worth finding. And using.

WIth this new perspective, I’ve (we, tom and I) have been trying to speak the languages of the kids, and each other. The love languages. Not that we didn’t before, but intentionally, more consistently. It’s a work in progress….

But here is what we’ve noticed. I’m not gonna go into each kid, privacy and all, but a few high points: Gabriel, who has moved into a phase of whiney and difficult over the past number of months…..is a total Touch speaker. It explains why he has taken to careening into us and he must DIVE into a lap if it’s available and even swifter if it show signs of occupation by any other kid. His way of getting that touch has been to bump and thump and push us around, literally, in his five year old rough and tumble way of learning a language of love. Discovering this, we’ve ramped up the cuddles and hugs and he has been simply blossoming under it. Not that we didn’t squeeze him and tell him we love him before, but we have stopped fussing about his careening around into us all and instead directing it toward more functional touch. On his part, he has ramped up the affirmations and is visibly relishing the cuddles. He crawls into my lap in the rocking chair and says “I want to rock with you forever.” He says, “I love you you,” more and first. His attachment needs are being met, better. Age and stage? Maybe? Better communication in his love language? Oh yeah.

The others too, they are noticeably responding to the touches on the shoulders, the passing hugs. They open up with the time and words, focused. The gifts is a tricky tricky thing in a house of hypervigilant kids (with a sharp eye for equity)..but we are brainstorming on meeting that need and seeing their gifts to us when they happen. Marking them. The intention to speak each kid/person’s love language is a very helpful tack; it opens up paths that were narrow, makes them wider.

The defensive side of me wants to say that we’ve done all these things, the touch, the words, the time spent. We did. We do. But when you KNOW it’s the language that your kid receives and give love…it takes on a different depth. And intention. And that makes a difference. Is our house filled with rainbows and unicorns now? Um, no. But is there more growth in the garden of connections and is communication a bit easier to acheive? Yes, I think so. It’s all a continuum, of course. Teens are still prickly, but might be a tad easier to soothe, to reach through the static. Those kisses and hugs and hand holdings are even more meaningful…what’s not to love? The trash waiting to go out and the rogue shoes? They are still there, but now I can remind myself that it’s just that I speak greek, and not that they don’t care. And I can switch to another language instead.

Becoming multi-lingual….it’s paramount in my big family. Even now, I’m learning.

Open Letter to the New Novice Moms

Posted on July 25, 2012 by coffeemom

{…and the Dads too….but, most especially, to the Moms.}

Today is the day. Today is the day that you are taking your son to the Novitiate; or are bidding him goodbye as he sets out. I don’t presume to know you, of course. However, I think I might be able to understand some of what you might be feeling. Not all, surely, as we are all different; our families are unique. But, even so…I want you to know that you’ve been on my mind and in my prayers and will be. Your son is setting out on a great new journey; the adventure, literally, of a lifetime. It’s exciting and wonderful and amazing and scary and nervous making and a little uncertain maybe, and maybe even more…bittersweet. I get it.

Now you might be just so ready for your son, younger or older, to make this step forward. You might be able to slap him on the back with a hearty “best wishes” and big happy hug and grin at him as turns. But, maybe your brow is furrowed and your heart is cracking just at bit as you wonder what this all means – to you and your family, how’s it going to work, will he be ok?

And I want to tell you this: I wish I could sit you down at my table and pour you some coffee, or, even better, some wine, and give you something good to eat and talk with you…compare notes, chat a bit.

I wish I had someone to tell me what it’s like, last year when we opened our eyes, this day.

So, today, if I could, I’d tell you: Yes, this might be one of the hard things you’ll do. God is asking a big thing of your son, a radical thing. Thus, by extension, he is asking it of you as well. BUT….he doesn’t ask this of you and leave you hanging. Grace abounds. Seriously. I promise. Grace abounds. You do have to walk the walk, you have to make the drive, do the drop off (be it at airport or St. Gertrude’s). You have to gulp and blink away your tears and swallow your heart as you hug that young man goodbye and kiss him. But it’s gonna be ok. It’s gonna be better than that…

To tell you how it went for me {and of course it might be totally different for you!}: Last year, I’m telling you, I was a MESS!!! I was sure of this for him and happy for him too. But I was also practically sick with tension and tired, eyes swollen like a bullfrog from crying the night before at our farewell dinner…sleep deprived because I can’t sleep with a crying headache and swollen eyes. I leaked tears as we prayed in the car, I was tense and jangley. My husband and my son were too, tho Chris was also excited; tempered tho by the difficult family/sibling goodbyes. So, as we got to St. Gertrudes, I had to remind myself to breath and then we turned the corner and saw the white tents. Really, lovely against the bright green lawn. We saw white splotches against the green: Dominicans in habits meandering about. Breathe…. Then suddenly, Fr James swooped toward us and shook Chris’ hands, Toms, and tried to shake mine but I burst into tears. He made a joke and we all laughed. I wasn’t and you won’t be the first to blink tears or force a smile. Then they took us on a tour of the priory, and all the words slipped past my ears, my heart was scanning every detail: the rooms, the old novices to see how they were, what kind of men, and so on. Very soon, it was time to go and so we did. That last hug was searing….but… we did it, we got in the car, we drove off. Were we kinda robotic by then? Um, yeah. Did we crash the car in our blinding tears? No. But, Tom was driving. Ahem. Still.

I write all this not to ratchet up your emotions, but to confirm them. I get it. And to tell you the most important part of this. Today the worst part of this. Period. And it’s fast and it’s done. Like ripping a bandaid in a way. YOWCH! Gasp! But then, the task is done. You’ve delivered your son into God’s hands; this priory, his house. Well done! Faithful, hopeful you.

All day, especially, grace abounds, only to increase in this transitional year. I promise. And your son? Well, he is in [spiritual] boot camp of sorts; but it’s one he chose and it will lead him to be the man he was made to be, either way. New ways, new folks, new modes, new tasks. Some of it is so beautiful it made me grin just to hear him when he would call and describe it. Some of the life is a chore, literally. (He will develop great expert skill sets: dishes, laundry, mopping, minor carpentry, landscaping, tutoring….) And, if this life is for him, he will grow into it. He will. It’s so very cool, actually. If it’s not for him, he will figure it out and that in itself is a great gift and part of the process. This process, this novitiate, works. It’s our process too, the whole year of loving him and connecting to him in a deeper, more prayerful way. A process that actually does bring a closer joyful connection. I promise.

And for the practical concerns? Those parishioners are so great! They feed the Novices, take them under their wings like their own sons, they bring them cookies and cakes and hug them. The priory cook is a great cook, plus terrific and caring and kind. They don’t go hungry, I’m just saying. The priory is not plush but it is sufficient, totally, to their needs. They have medicine and privacy and time to be goofy and exercise, they walk into town together, they can watch a big game in the common room. They laugh, all the time. They are funny! Let me repeat, they laugh, so much! They study, they pray, they serve, they sing. The rigor of the ordered days strengthens them, even as they adjust. It conditions them, seriously, just as if they were training for a marathon. They are training. They are laying the foundation for a Dominican life. As dear Fr. Benedict told me, “The foundations they lay in the novitiate are absolutely necessary to live a (happy) Dominican life.”

And so, they begin. You do too. You’re a Dominican mom now. Your sons just increased in number, tenfold. See, that’s the beginning of it in the most tangible way: Grace abounding.

It’s all gonna be ok. It’s all gonna be better than ok, it’s gonna be wonderful. And, for what it’s worth, I’m praying for you, all the way through.

Michele

ps, if you’d like to reach me, just email {info in “about me”}.

Wordless Wednesday

Posted on July 24, 2012 by coffeemom

go here for the linkup

Novices knocking on our door…

Posted on July 16, 2012 by coffeemom

…and so they did!

That visit I wrote about? Well, this past Saturday was the day!

We had ten Novice brothers and their Novice Master, Father James Sullivan, come to visit at our house. They dropped in to see us, as promised, on their way back up the St. Gertrude’s. We spent the morning prepping what we could (because some things just can’t be spiffed up in a jiffy, like the balls stuck way up in the high roof gutters…) Little Gabey was beside himself with excitment, literally bouncing and careening around the house all morning. They showed up later than expected; once again reinforcing the fact that Dominicans do things their own way (which is part of their unique charm, seriously). Gabey started some serious whining and sulking and I have to admit to a bit of pacing myself.

Finally, they arrived! Literally, knocking on our door at the same time that Gabey ran out to jump them and we all felt time freeze for just a half second. Then I ran, (yes, literally) out to see them and ran smack into Peter Joseph for a huge hug. Maybe a tear or two but all simple grinning clapping happy. I hugged each and every Novice. They hugged me back. I hugged Fr. James and whispered my thanks into his ears. Then they all were tugged and hugged and hustled into the house and more hello’s were said and hugs were passed around.

We sat, we visited, they munched on cheese and fruit and crackers and salami and devoured MamaDo’s brownies and lemonade and iced tea was poured. Jokes were cracked, stories were told. Small boys dragged big ones in habits out to play basketball. Rooms were wandered.

Quiet, private long conversations were impossible but that wasn’t the point of this visit. This visit was a particular sort of gift. This visit was to soak in the presence of each other….

…to see the brothers interact, josh, joke, hang out with each other and us too. To touch base and touch habit, literally. To feast our, my, eyes on my boy and my other boys by extension…..for I feel something like a mom to them too. I looked at them with “mom eyes” and hugged them with “mom arms” and got them brownies and milk and coffee just like I do happily for my own. I’m putting up all our pics, just so you moms and families (if you’re out there) can scour them for your sweet sons….That’s what I’d do too!

Brother Edmund has his eyes on the cheese and crackers…..

Br Allen playing basketball w/ Little Man

Br. Timothy playing with ball with Gabe and Anthony

If any of you other Novice Mom’s of these boys by chance read this blog…..thank you for sharing your son with us for a few hours. It was a pure gift. And know that I tried to give them a hug with your love in it and a snack with the same care you might. I saw them and listened to what they said and what they didn’t say. And this is what I saw and heard: These young men, they are so good. They are happy. They are well. Extrapolating our from my son, and applying to yours: They have grown into themselves. They are more themselves, in a fuller deeper way. They seemed very bonded together as a community; they seem very ready for first vows. They are totally ready and excited to see all of their family’s in a month too! It is so good. It is all good. I hugged them all again, stand in mom, as they got in the car. They have phenomenal manners. And Fr. James is one of the most gracious men I’ve met.

Marta especially loves Fr. James

But, they all left smiling, for what it’s worth.

My stupid grin was on my face all afternoon and softened into a tired happy one later that night. But it filled my and our hearts. It gave us all a chance to connect that was everything. Everything.

Two hours, of jokes and hugs and smiles and brownies and wild children scrambling around these great young men. Bliss. I am so. Very. Grateful.

American Girl: times 3

Posted on July 13, 2012 by coffeemom

Three Years.

Sost Ahmet.

Trois Ans

Tres Anos.

First Year

Our Marta has, today, been an American girl for three years. We can hardly believe it. The anticipation of this anniversary has made her grin and ponder at length what sort of cake she wants (You didn’t think she’d let this pass, ever, without cake, did you? Of course not!). Happily, this anniversary arrives just past the fourth of July, so we get the benefit of a yearly thematic shirt to bring the anniversary home. You know, a cute flag shirt. To match the cute (but ever changing design request) festive cake.

Second year.

It’s a very personal anniversary, of course. One she marks in a big way, anticipating it for months and in fact one of the reference markers of the calendar in her head. The day is and was watershed day in many ways….the day she set foot on American soil, thus becoming a citizen. It was the day we finally got home after a long long trip; made longer by her fear of flying and crowds and new things, as well as my getting hit hard by Swine Flu in Addis and needing desperately to get home to fully recover. It was the day she stepped into her new family, meeting the kids who stayed at home: her little brothers and her big ones. It was the day she first got her own bed (soon enough to be her own bedroom) and a space of her own …..even as she joined up into a new (strange hard good big) family.

Her life has changed so. She is now in school, she is learning, slowly but with excellent support in the excellent teachers who work so hard in her program. She has begun to relax into things a bit here and there. Some days she even sleeps in past seven! Seriously, that is a much bigger marker of change than you might realize. She has grown physically a bit, but only a bit. She has experienced so many new things. The American culture is still often a mystery to her, tho let’s face it, isn’t it a mystery to us all at times? She adores movies and country music and her dog and big brothers. She does not like fish or snow or heights. She is growing into America – America is slowly seeping into her, bit by bit. She will, however, always retain her Ethiopian-ness. So she gets to swap between those options/cultures at will. And does.

There is more to this day, however, than just the external stuff. This is not just a day of getting a different stamp or passport; though she did. This day was a day of fusing, in many ways. It was the very beginning of her fusing into us and us into her. I choose the term “fusing” because you don’t only ‘form’ a family. It is fused. When you adopt an older child, especially one from hard places and or around the globe…that fusing is literal. It sears. It burns. It is accompanied by tears and grasps and gasps for all members. But also by the flashes of light and color that spark and make you say “Wow!” at their beauty. It takes time. To fuse you have go over and over the seams, laying down the sauter, the binding. It takes time to fuse and cure and set.

But it starts with a beginning, a bright burning torch. And that is today, three years ago. Miss Liberty is more representative than we knew.

She carries the torch.

We carried our girl.

Together, this day, three years ago…they were brought together.

The process of fusing a family began.

Just a few weeks ago at the beach, at her favorite perch on the balcony

And so it continues….three years. American girl.

Almost Wordless Wednesday. Vows Edition

Posted on July 11, 2012 by coffeemom

One month….wow. If you’re curious….go here to read. Go here to see….

That’s my Peter Joseph, center rear!

Jumping for Joy

Posted on July 10, 2012 by coffeemom

So I got some fantastic exciting news today. I was literally jumping for joy and yup, might have cried a wee bit.

Turns out that we might have a quick drop in visit from the Novices this weekend! I know! Haven’t seen my boy since October…and have been gearing up to go see him in August for first vows. Another whole post or two, that. Anyhow, turns out they are helping one of their priests move down to the our town and so the whole crew is coming along to lend a hand, and visit some of their sister Dominicans. Mercifully, Fr. James has decided that we are on the way home and that they might just be having a craving for some MamaDo’s (the brownies that I make from the recipe of one of Peter Joseph’s best friend’s mom). So they have asked if it would be too much trouble to stop in for a quick visit, “Just family, no muss no fuss.” Hmmm….”Um, yeah, yup, I think that would be all right…” That’s what I said, I’m pretty sure. All cool and collected like that, just like that. (Tho, it might, just maybe, have also had a few leaking tears, stupid grin, and gibbering, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” )

gonna do some visiting

So it’s a family only quick visit, but with all those brothers and ours too and I am simply giddy in anticipation. I have been warned to not kill myself cleaning or make too big a fuss. So I will try, try I tell you, to heed that directive and simply bask in the pure joy of it all. But I will admit to a little happy dancing around my kitchen this morning when I told the big girls, and that I will be thrilled to be hugging the neck of my other big boy heading home when he arrives in the wee hours of Friday morning.

best brothers

And I’m gearing up: gonna be making multiple batches of MamaDo’s, some for here and some to go!

I can’t wait!

Home Again, Jiggity Jig

Posted on July 8, 2012 by coffeemom

So, home again.

I didn’t fall off the end of the earth. Though you wouldn’t be far off if you had presumed so. We took the annual trek across to the end of our earth, by which I mean California. Yup, we had our annual beach vacation/family visit and out there it is pretty much off the grid. Cell service and wi-fi is pretty much out for the count, so we go mostly low to no tech. Even if I could find a signal, I was still doing intensive parenting and ‘working’ the vacation. Don’t get me wrong, we had some afternoons of sheer sunny sandy relaxing bliss. But, a small family place is small with many kids with many issues…or even one or two (or four!) teens. Thankfully, the beach is big.

At any rate. Blogging was on hiatus. Everything was on hiatus except living in the moment. A gift, even that, the good the bad the ugly….but especially the sandy sunny of it.

Now I face a couple of rigorous thrashing days of time change and reentry as we jump back into real life again. So, my connected status is still spotty.

But I wanted to check in, for me mostly. I haven’t fallen off the ends of the earth. Just dipped my toes in the tide waters.

My favorite place on earth

And now I’m back again. Soon to be musing and sorting my thoughts through my keyboard again.

It’s good to go on vacation. It’s good to see family from afar! But oh….It’s good to be home!

A Man for All Seasons….

Posted on June 22, 2012 by coffeemom

It’s the feast of St Thomas More!

He is an awesome saint, and a fascinating person…plus he’s a patron of my dear Tom. So, I have to mark the day, though simply. So, go see the movie if you haven’t and read up on him. He was a wealthy and sucessful businessman and lawyer, had a large family (biological and adopted children, gotta love it) and rather a menagerie as well. He was the confident of his close friend the king, until the king decided the Church’s rules were restrictive to his fickle love life. Then it all went bad, to the point of martyrdom. St. Thomas More represents, to us, to me…..trust, courage, conviction, perseverance, loyalty, generosity, and acceptance (of children, life situations, the truth, and the present moment) of what life brings you. Quite a bit to emulate and to virtues to pray for as well.

Painting, St. Thomas More, by Lydia Mahan, 2011

St. Thomas More, pray for us. My Thomas, Happy Feast Day!

From a letter to his daughter, Meg, while imprisoned by his friend, the king:

“And, therefore, my own good daughter, do not let your mind be troubled over anything that shall happen to me in this world. Nothing can come but what God wills. And I am very sure that whatever that be, however bad it may seem it shall indeed be the best.”

Knot Again….

Posted on June 19, 2012 by coffeemom

Remember this?

Yeah, I wrote about this here. Go, read it if you will and get caught up. Yes, it’s a rosary, but this one…we think it’s kinda special. Just to recap: that rosary, right up there, is the rosary the Tom/Coffedoc/theDad made for Chris/Brother Peter Joseph as he entered the Novitiate. All Dominican’s (like many or most or all living in a Catholic religious order – brothers sisters monks priests nuns) wear a full 15 decade rosary attached to the belt of their habit. Thus, this was one of the items of a very short list we actually were to send along with him as he entered his Novice year. Tom, being who he is, thought to make the rosary. And so he did. Again, read all about it here, it’s kinda cool.

The rosary was working great…so to speak. Peter Joseph prayed it daily, it hung just right on his habit and all was well. Until sometime midway through the year…and then, it hit a little snag. Or, to be precise, it got caught on a doorknob as Peter Joseph was running along a hallway to go grab a guitar (boys are boys are men are boys….). And it didn’t exactly break. But it did rather streeetch the rosary out and pull on the (vintage, weaker) loop of the crucifix. So. Peter Joseph asked his Dad if anything could be done.

Now, we know the answer to that one: Of course!

So, Tom decided it was best to not just fix it. No, it was best to REMAKE it. You know, “We can rebuild it. Better. ~~Faster~~.{..ahem, ok mabye not that part} Stronger...” And so he did. It took him months to research a better source for the cord – one that won’t stretch out if pulled, hard, with the translational momentum and torque of running friars. The loop attaching the crucifix has been finely welded together to be stronger and more secure, despite it’s age. The knots have been redesigned and retied, my math isn’t up to the precise number of knots but there are knots between each bead and there over 150 of those. Yeah, my fingers ache just thinking about it….

The knot for the centerpiece has been redone, and in fact created from an original knot design by Tom because he couldn’t find a suitable and strong enough knot that he liked; though he tested out too many to count. So he designed his own. Each bead has been prayed over and with.

This rosary, the beads the knots, once again. still, carry Toms heart and head and hands. They are a gift of himself to his son, in the most complete way. And I’m not trying to blather on about this to boast…but rather to point out the joy in the effort and the meaning of these simple beads.

They are, of course, beautiful in and of themselves. They are beautiful for the prayers they represent and encourage.

But for me, they are beautiful for the simplest reason of all: These beads carry our prayers with them, to our son, and join his.

50 for 50

Posted on June 13, 2012 by coffeemom

So, it’s my 50th birthday today. Yeh, I can hardly believe it myself. I surprise myself every time I catch a glance in a passing window, wondering why my mom is tagging along. Oh wait…..

But, instead of focusing on some of the mournful aspects of turning officially 50 (body changes oh my…)…..I want to mark this day with my own personal list of 50 things for which I am grateful. I want to put up this list for me (to mark as my memory goes, sooner I fear rather than later); it is not anywhere close to all encompassing, it will not list every person because that list would probably be endless and my memory is going so I wouldn’t remember the names and then I’d get all stressed out and, well, you get the idea…..

It’s my birthday and I’ll list as I want to. No particular order or relevance or profundity – mundane and inane and momentous included. It’s barely a scratch of the surface of the goodness in my blessed life. Just as with people, impossible to list every thing to be thankful for. Comments will be closed because this post/list, really, it’s for me to officially recognize all the bounty of goodness and wonder in my life.

Now, today at 50, here we go….

50 for 50:

My family: husband, each and all my kids.
My mom and dad and sister and brothers; my nieces and nephews.
My Godchildren.
My faith and my church, the Catholic Church and all that comes with it: the saints, the smells the bells the big perpetual global prayer that unites us all, the eucharist and the simplicity and beauty of this mind blowing truest thing.
my friends, old, new, virtual and in real life….don’t know what I’d do without them/you. close ones far ones near and dear and darn ones……
raspberries and blackberries
coffee, espresso, iced coffee
Vanilla almond milk for my iced coffee
the warm soft early summer air in the south before the air turns heavy dripping with humidity later
the beach, any and all
Carlsbad, perhaps my favorite place, anywhere
novenas
the rosary
the Dominican Provence of St Joseph
my bulldog sitting next to me as I read
spending much of my childhood riding my horse all over
horseback rides with my dad, both the long trail rides through the desert and the local walkabouts around the neighborhoods
sitting out in the ocean, beyond the breakers waiting for the next set on the boogie board as a teen
yakking in the sun with girlfriends who are (still) like sisters as we waited and teased each other (or they teased me) for being scared for the next set of waves
figuring out, finally, how to make really good homemade bread/boule with a crunchy crust and a soft airy inside
watching my kids, especially my big boys, devour the bread I make
singing badly in the car to old songs just to aggravate the kids, as needed
having run a few marathons, having loved running a few half marathons
college. grad school. all of it.
reading, forever my favorite thing
electronics and our convenient world; the net, iphones, email
e-readers, the kindle and ipad for the liberating ease of use and portability
routines of stretching for helping my body age and transition
girls night out, especially when it involves my sister
wine and lemon drop martinis
the “love letters” my son makes me: books and songs and pictures
saturday night standing date night with my tom
movies, especially going OUT to movies
hearing my kids play music and sing
listening to my kids play the music and sing downstairs in the living room as I lie above them drifting to sleep in bed
late afternoons at the beach as the sun starts sinking lower and the crowds fade off and the sand starts to cool but the last bites of conversation or being are still being savored
late afternoons at the pool watching my kids swim and reading as the heat of the day ebbs away
prepping and making a sunday dinner as tom takes the kids out on boat and the house gets quiet and I can prepare a simple ‘feast’ to mark the best day of the week
sundays
my family still being connected despite all of us being different and in different places, we are and will be there for each other
watching my nephews graduate from college with my sister
a baby, especially my babies, falling asleep on my chest
the difficult events in my life that have scared me, tested me, indeed darn near or indeed broken me…because I healed stronger.
being able to give an assist, however small, to others who’ve found themselves struggling with the same or similar events or issues
the Liturgy of the Hours
telling my kids jokes that only their dad and I get, sharing the high fives with him
making sure my kids know I’m a laugh riot
the smell of tom’s neck and his arms around me
bubbly water, bubbly anything
waking up to face this next era, knowing that life is beautiful, challenging, and all gift.

The Perfect Job?

Posted on June 11, 2012 by coffeemom

So, my eldest daughter has gotten her first job.

I’m so proud!

Seriously.

However, in reviewing the job description of this first job, her dad and I have to laugh. Because our girl, she is clearly a genius.

Our girl, in finding her FIRST job has cleverly managed to land herself the PERFECT first job, for her.

How’s that you might ask? Well, let’s review. Most first jobs are of the service sort: working in fast food, child care, baggers at the supermarket, mowing lawns, walking dogs, taking tickets, bussing tables, hostessing and leading to tables, hanging up clothes from dressing rooms and straightening racks in stores. All good jobs. Heck ANY job is a good job! The usual starters are all honorable and necessary work, and indeed, the first jobs that her dad and I had were among these. These are any and all the sort of jobs that we had in mind when we ~~ordered~~ gently suggested to our daughter that this summer, a job was a ~~must~~ good idea.

Not to be outdone in the good luck department, she found a job as a lifeguard at our local YMCA.

Let’s read that again. She found a job as a lifeguard. At a pool.

So, no, she will NOT be bussing tables or asking if you’d like fries with that.
She will NOT be wearing a silly hat or a polyester retro off color uniform top.
She will NOT be politely handing out tickets or drinks, smiling til it hurts.

Nope, she’s landed herself a “Bossy job.”

She gets to wear a cute bathing suit (she says it’s not, but …. de facto: at 16, every bathing suit is cute).
She gets to wear a cute visor and cool shades.
She gets to cultivate a tan and has cute supervisors.
Not only does she NOT have to ask “would you like fries with that?” and smile til it hurts….she gets to glare at the small annoying children from her perch on high.
She gets to point her finger at them and say “Hey, you kids, knock it off!” (she might need to be slightly more tactful on the job, but that’s her home version).
She GETS A WHISTLE, for pity’s sake!

Read that again. My 16 year old daughter, for her first job ever, has gotten a job where she gets to wield a whistle and boss people around.

So I ask you: Is she a mad genius and has found the perfect job….

is it the end of the world as we know it?

Consider it wisely…..but, in the meantime, make sure you walk in the pool zone.

Corpus Christie: mind blowing feast day

Posted on June 10, 2012 by coffeemom

It’s the feast of Corpus Christi: the Body of Christ.
It’s one of the greatest Mysteries of the faith, capital “M” mystery again…one of those that boggle and baffle the mind. One of those you believe or you don’t. Period.
I do.

It’s the Eucharist. The body of Christ. It’s a gift, a sacrament, it’s utterly holy and sacred and, at the same time, the most intimate thing on earth.

I can’t do this justice of course. To read more about this, with historical support, go here.
To read a good piece on how to bring together your mind, heart and senses on this, go here.

All I know is that I like thinking about connections a lot. You know that. I like that whole connected relational brought together linked adopted bonded sense in (my) life. I see it so many places that it gives me chills if I stop to think about it. And that is what I find to the utmost, mindblowing, heart zinging way in the sacrament of Communion and the Eucharist: the most intimate connection and unity that can be. Ever – in this world. And I yearn for it and reach for it and I sink into it with relief and gratitude and wallowing comfort and thankfulness.
And I don’t understand it with my mind.
But my heart and soul know it’s more real than anything else.
John 6

*reposted from a few years ago. This doesn’t change for me, just keeps me sighing in awe and relief.*

Teen Green….

Posted on June 6, 2012 by coffeemom

Nope, not talking about cash. That’s what many, my girls included, would think of first. Nope. Talking about that green eyed monster: Jealousy.

In our big messy house, we’ve been running into a lot of jealousy. I have. I am telling you that this spring, but oh my goodness even more so, this summer, every time I turn around one or another of my girls is jealous of a sister. As they say here in the south, “You can’t swing a dead cat” without hitting a jealous sister. I know, yikes!

Jealousy. It’s the grown up, breathing, creature risen from the little kid version of sibling rivalry. This has morphed from little kid “gimme’s” and grabs to a stewing breath of resentment and envy. It’s jealousy. I think especially for girls, it’s a serious monster that waits in the closet, needing only a crack in the door to step out. Especially for teens. Especially when it comes to teen sisters. {And there are many who can/will point to the idea that we/I haven’t ‘formed’ them well enough….maybe. But I think this is part of our human nature, and it peaks in the toddler and teen years. And with the complexities in our family and it’s forming, well, I’m not sure how we could have sidestepped this entirely…But maybe I’m just being defensive; it could happen!}

Now, most of the jealousy ’round here centers around time with me. Which, on one level, is grand. They like me! Or, more to the point, they need time with me. And they WANT it! But on another level, it’s tough. It’s a pressure. Because I do make a point of trying my best to make sure each kid gets time with me, one on one, face time, checking in, sitting by them, ears and heart open…etc etc. Typically, the jealous version plays out around the idea of…wait for it….shopping. No surprise that, eh? If one of them needs something from the store: another pair of shorts, a new sports bra, heck, more conditioner…… then if I take them to the store to shop and/or get it…..then I can be quite certain that when I get home one or several will now be “jealous.” {Which explains why I try to do a great lot of the shopping alone, when they are in school….but it’s summer…..yeah, circling back to the problem now….} Heck I can lay money on it. They don’t seem to be nearly as jealous of time spent with me chopping vegetables for dinner….hmmmm…

Michael D. Edens, “Jealousy”

It’s wearing me out.

So, this is a post to ask for ideas from anyone who has multiple teen girls at home: How do you soothe and settle the green eyed teen? How do you address the cries of “H first! (no fair, me jealous),” “It’s just that I NEVER get to go with you.” “You NEVER get me stuff.” You only take/buy/do for ____fill in the blank____?” All of these statements have a fractional basis in reality – in that I cannot buy for every single child every single time another needs something. We’d go bankrupt. And I cannot take every child every time; nor can I take every child every day or week. I’d simply drop dead from insanity or sheer exertion.

I have four teen girls right now. I love them so. Each of them is an amazing individual; each with so many great qualities. But, collectively? The sisters, the hormones, the drama, the JEALOUSY?? It’s making for a LONG summer. And summer has only begun….

Moms?? Experience, tips…anything??

The Triplet: Feast of the Holy Trinity

Posted on June 3, 2012 by coffeemom

Triples. Triplets. It’s all about the abundance, of course. That’s one of the best things about faith, our faith, the Catholic church. Abundanza!

It’s the Feast of the Holy Trinity!

Which means it’s another day of mystery, with a capital M. This mystery is one of the biggies, of course. Uber Catholic to boot {we Catholics love a good mystery!}. One that really, we are not truly meant to fully figure out – because as soon as you think you have; you’ve probably fallen into presumption (with a capital P) and are not on target to boot.

So, here’s what we do know, ok, let’s be more precise, what I think about this day: it’s a feast of love, really. How’s that? Well, God the Father so loved everything, but even more so,us, that he gave us his Son, and the love between those two was so immeasurably great that it begat it’s own third “person”: the Holy Spirit. Thus those three began the “begatting” that we read in the Old Testament (pages and pages of it, right?) and that, when we are doing it right, here on earth, begets us each other.

El Greco, “The Holy Trinity”

The Trinity was and is (and ever will be) the prime, premier, example of how to love – well and truly. And that right there, is enough mystery for my little brain for, um, the rest of my life. Which is really, of course, part of it’s charm. Mind blowing charm and goodness. Something to celebrate. And that’s why it’s a feast day: was then, is now, and will be forever. Amen.

Happy Feast of the Holy Trinity!

Eyes Open: Marking the Reading Good

Posted on June 1, 2012 by coffeemom

So, I have done a few posts on “marking the good.” I call these posts “Eyes Open” because too often I run around with my hair on fire and I forget to open my eyes to see the goodness abounding or the small flickering glimmer. So, now and then I luck out and it runs smack into me.

The other day (I would’ve put this up sooner, but again, hair on fire, crazy busy w/ the ~~freight train~~ slow savor of summer) this bit of good literally barreled into me as I stood, per usual, folding clothes. Marta rushed over to me from her room, carrying a book I had handed her just the day before.

This book was one where had she rolled her eyes at me. I had been on a jag of pulling books and old homeschool materials out of the bookshelves, working up a lather on getting the kids to ‘get busy’ during summer. The freaky slow simmering fire drill of many kids loafing around the house, bored or soon to be bored, or not nearly bored enough because they were finding ways to maim themselves was already on my nerves. So I had started a minor rampage through the house. When she protested against that idea, stating firmly that there was no homework for her over the summer I just grinned a big grin and said “Oh yeah!” And when she said her teacher only said “Read” during the summer months I said, “Okay!” and loaded her up with a few books to take. Like, five small ones. If I had dumped all of the books I might have in mind on her small self she would just shut down. I got a glare and a sigh and a big eye roll. Then she disappeared and the books with her.

I forgot all about it, went about my day or two putting out fires, folding laundry, cooking, swapping laundry, cooking, picking up towels, folding laundry and cooking. But, as I was, um, folding laundry and thinking about what to cook for dinner, Marta came darting over to me, holding out a book with a grin and jabbering. I had to slow her down, take the book and examine it and then grin at her. I asked her to tell me about the book. She did. I asked her if she read it.

She said, “Yes! Very good book! Black girl, very sad, last {page of} book very nice, so nice very happy. Black people white people girls very friends. Very good book!” I dropped my laundry, I hugged her tight and told her how cool that was!!!

Now, I don’t want to make too much of this….ok, forget that, this is big. Huge. I know that she read more of the key words and skipped a few others. I know that she looked at the pictures to help decode the story. But, um, I believe that way back when I was a “Miss” that was still called ‘reading!’ That is the whole process: decoding, using cues, figuring out meaning through context, bringing it all together to make sense. And, that, that is exactly what she did. My Marta, read a book and followed a story arc. I don’t think she was or has read this book before. Not by me. (Adrienne? {-her teacher} Let me know if you see this…). So, you could quibble and say, she didn’t read every word and understand every single word. But here’s the deal: Marta read the book, she understood the story. She got excited about it. She totally related to that scared little girl, which is a whole ‘nother post, I know. Still. Let me say that again: She got excited about it. I mean, LIT up. Which lit me up. We knuckle bumped, we high fived, we hugged and grinned stupidly at each other. And I was simply thrilled; as much as she was. Seriously.

So, I am proud of her. I want to go on record and mark that good. It’s SO good. Reading is power. No matter who or what, thats the bottom line. Reading opens up your world. It empowers, excites, helps. It’s huge.

So what’s next? I don’t know. {Yes, I do: more laundry and cooking and reading!} But I do know I promptly got on Amazon and ordered all the copies (used, this is an old series) of the Scholastic First Biographies I could find. I’m excited. I’m marking the good with a big shout out. It’s an” Eyes Open to Read!”

Going Visiting: Feast day!

Posted on May 31, 2012 by coffeemom

It’s the Feast of the Visitation!

I love this feast (Ok, I love most any feast!)…because I really think of it as a girl feast, in a way. It’s about how we girls support each other. We women, we support each other. Sometimes it takes getting past those crazy younger years maybe, when there is that weird competition thing going on (do you all still have/do that?). But, we women are there for each other. And it’s one of the great riches in life. So on this feast day I think about that. Mary went to her older cousin, Elizabeth, and stayed with her to help her as she approached the end of her amazing surprise pregnancy (carrying John the Baptist). It’s what we do when we can and it’s such a vital part of being a woman that we see it even in the mother of God. Cool, huh?

I think on this day of all my great good girlfriends and sister and how they have helped me up when I’ve tripped or messed up, listened to me ramble, cooked and cleaned for me and watched me sob to the point of puffy eyes and running snot. They’ve listened through gulping tears and through seemingly endless venting and pondering and navel gazing rambling. And that was all just yesterday!! Kidding… Still… They’ve consoled and cheered me on in more ways than I can count, saved my marriage and assisted my kids. This is a feast, in my mind at least, for all of us gals. So, let’s celebrate, lift a glass of something cold and yummy and toast the women and girlfriends, sisters and moms. We’re some of each other’s best gifts. Thank you for that, ladies!

Mariotto Albertinelli
1503 – Oil on wood, 232 x 146 cm
Galleria degli Uffizi, Florence {I saw this with my own eyes! Gorgeous, one of my favs!}

Happy Feast Day!

Lovely Rita….

Posted on May 22, 2012 by coffeemom

It’s the Feast of St Rita today.

Now I have grown fond of her over the years. She is a patron of ‘lost causes,’ officially, because so many seemingly impossible things happened to her during her lifetime. Unofficially, I kind of consider her a patron saint of marriages and persevering during rocky times. Her husband was a rough tough man, reportedly mean and ill-tempered; involved in all sorts of sketchy dealings and questionable conduct. Through Rita’s constant prayer and kindness, she eventually “converted her cruel husband from his wicked ways, making their home a peaceful sanctuary of holy bliss.” (from a bio). So, she must also have had some real inner strength and savvy on knowing how to stand her ground and be strong and assertive but in a loving manner…which we all need to work on, right?

Marriage and living a holy life is a challenge, every day. St Rita gives us a patron who ‘gets it.” I’m sure she is a great intercessor, for marriages, for challenges, for those impossible causes. She ultimately entered religious life; surely her skills at conflict resolution and mediation and strength in prayer was an asset in the convent too. So, I like her. You might too, she’s an old saint, but a goodie. If you have any ‘lost causes’ or struggles, she might be a good one to hit up for a little extra prayer on your behalf.

St Rita, pray for us!

Like Sun Shook Foil

Posted on May 20, 2012 by coffeemom

Yesterday my Little Man, my Anthony made his First Holy Communion.

Yes, I got a little teary…just a little. But, it was, ever again, one of those frozen in time moments. Something about First Communion: the sweetness, the wild loud kids dressed in their best ever, trying so hard to find some decorum, sometimes failing. The juxtaposition of their still flashing bright nature with the hovering pause before the consecration and them each approaching the altar….it makes me blink hard and hold my breath. I smile as I see those wiggly boys just not quite be able to contain those wiggles or those distractions. I gasp a little to see those sweet girls look like angels – old fashioned, maybe – but oh their sweet shining faces, glowing with the excitement of the afternoon and the fuss and hubub of veils and standing just so.

It’s a beautiful sacrament, one of the core foundations of our faith and our, ok – MY, strength and essential need. These kids are old enough to “get it” and young enough to not be too jaded to care. They really do embody the heart and flame of the love in this sacrament, to use Hopkins’ better words {one of my fav poems}, “like shining from shook foil.”

No wonder all of us parents and older folks stand around gaping and snuffling and grinning. I’m so happy for my Little Man. This sacrament is pure gift.

It was a sweet, happy day.

Going UP, please….

Posted on May 17, 2012 by coffeemom

Today is the Feast of the Ascension of Christ.

Just….Whoa.

“Ascension of Christ” by Salvadore Dali

Really. Doesn’t the entire concept just blow the mind?

Well, it does mine, anyhow. Now, I have written before about this, and how it kind of always boggles my mind. Because I am a visual kind of gal, I always get stuck in the imagining of this event, in the unimaginable visuals. My mind wants to do a whole movie panorama on it, more old Cecil B DeMille flicks, less Spielberg…but I digress. My point is that I can get all hung up in trying to SEE this, visualize and understand it….which of course totally misses the point. As usual.

But there are two cool parts to this that I could spend the rest of my life meditating upon, and in fact it would surely do me much good. I won’t, but I should.

The first part is the whole concept that Jesus went to prepare a place for us. He went to get things ready for us, at HOME. Home. Not our current abodes, apartments, houses, condos…but our true home. And that is with Him, eternally, in heaven (I hope and pray). I mean, how cool is that?? I don’t know about you, but I’m not the greatest hostess on the planet. I failed Martha Stewart 101. I have to write post-its to remember to put nice folded towels in the guest bath. But here, the God of the Universe, of everything, is heading off to prepare a place for us! Now I don’t know what that entails in heaven and all, but even still, he’s already on the details and is prepping with each of us in mind. Really, how cool is that?

I know I know, this is really talking about bigger picture stuff, but even so, God is in the details too and you know it. Ever looked at the marbling in granite?? Or the marbling in marble? Huh? Stared into a tiger lily? Don’t tell me that God doesn’t pay attention to the tiny details…so I can marvel that Christ left the apostles, ascended even (another spectacular detail), to go and prepare a place for us, the best place: Home. Ahhhhh……joy.

The second part of this very cool event, this mind tripping visual, is that this ascension also signified a new and different status for the apostles…which of course trickles right down to us, to me. He said to them that he would go, but he would send the Holy Spirit and then they were going to be sent too. Out. To witness. To tell the world about this wild amazing truth, this mind blowing love. That it was real. He let those apostles SEE him ascend, not just fade away like the Cheshire Cat with his grin the last to go…

Nope, Christ ascended as they watched (and surely, gaped and pointed, nudged and grabbed each other and held out their hands and maybe both laughed a bit and cried a bit too). But certainly they had to be electrified; how could you not? Surely, this very change from followers of the earthly bodily Jesus to witnesses was facilitated by this ascension. I mean, literally, they witnessed it. They witnessed it all: yeah, the ascension, but also Christ himself on earth, his miracles, his passion, his resurrection, his heart, his voice, his smell, his smile.

They knew him, like the world could not.

And thus they were the first, sent out with a bang – a spectacular electric jolt – to bring that excitement to everyone. Big job, but then again, big cool. Much to think about with this day….

Ascension of Christ, by Garofalo, 1520

O King of Glory,

Lord of Hosts,

Who didst this day ascend in triumph

above all the heavens!

Leave us not orphans,

but send upon us the Spirit of Truth,

promised by the Father.

Alleluia!

The Liturgical Year: Book 9

*disclaimer: some of this post from several years back. Very swamped w/ family life, but liturgical life is still so cool that I want to mark it, always!

Canary in a Coal Mine

Posted on May 15, 2012 by coffeemom

That’s me. The mom, I mean.

I know this isn’t a groundbreaking idea. The old adage “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” is still circulating for good reason. But as I’ve been stuck in the quicksand of diva drama lately, the image of the canary has been occurring to me repeatedly. I am a canary. And yes, sometimes in the deep dark murk of a coal mine.

The swirling moods of teen girls, the reverberations and wafting spread of the gaseous poisonous presence of those same moods on any given day can be toxic to us all. As mom it’s my job to offset those moods; yes, to redirect and reframe and temper and sooth and ignore (often all within minutes). It’s up to me to keep my equanimity (a favorite turn of phrase of the dad in the house) and to carry on and muddle through.

But, there’s more. It’s my job to be the marker. I have a hyper-vigilant daughter who gauges many of her reactions based on mine. Yeah, talk about pressure, eh? Or, on a good day: opportunity. It can really swing either way, based on my sleep deprivation, sugar levels, weather, you get the idea. And of course, sometimes, no matter my reaction or cheer or calm, she can’t maintain. But, sure as shootin’ (as they say here in the south) she will look to me first, to gauge my reaction/mood/approach to whatever is happening that has any volatile twinge to it. Sister late to be ready for school? Marta’s eyes are upon me, watching if I am cool and can smile and give an eye roll of “no big deal, all’s well” or “big sis is so busted” so Marta can be angry too. Seriously. Since Marta IS hyper vigilant and hates having anything off routine or mark (leaving at 7:10 NOT 7:11, 12 or 15….) her anxiety is just looking for a reason to overflow. She watches to see if the canary is choking or singing. Me.

The others too, however, all of them, also check the canary gauge/cage. If I’m busy and flitting around, maybe chirping about this or that or even handing out directions then life is puttering along just like it’s supposed to. But if I get sick, then the crews stop and stare, wondering what to do. Worse, if I start choking in frustration and toxic fumes of mood (mine or others) and falling with ruffled feathers….well, everyone else will, swiftly, too.

So, instead of putting pressure on myself to only sit on my perch (in the kitchen, of course) and keep a beady eye on the toxicity in my house…….I am deciding that this gives me a power of influence that I shouldn’t waste.

I want to, I choose to, sing.

…and to cook. Always. {Sunday brunch}

Another Espresso, Please

Why, yes, I did just have one, thanks…

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary Day 6

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary Day 5

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary Day 4

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary Day 3

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary Day 2

Novena for First Vows: Assumption of Mary

Feast for Dominican Moms, with the FIRST one.

Wordless Wednesday

“What’s your love language, Mrs G?”

Open Letter to the New Novice Moms

Wordless Wednesday

Novices knocking on our door…

American Girl: times 3

Almost Wordless Wednesday. Vows Edition

Jumping for Joy

Home Again, Jiggity Jig

A Man for All Seasons….

Knot Again….

50 for 50

The Perfect Job?

Corpus Christie: mind blowing feast day

Teen Green….

The Triplet: Feast of the Holy Trinity

Eyes Open: Marking the Reading Good

Going Visiting: Feast day!

Lovely Rita….

Like Sun Shook Foil

Going UP, please….

*disclaimer: some of this post from several years back. Very swamped w/ family life, but liturgical life is still so cool that I want to mark it, always!

Canary in a Coal Mine

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*disclaimer: some of this post from several years back. Very swamped w/ family life, but liturgical life is still so cool that I want to mark it, always!

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