>What’s in a name?

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So, I have a question for all you adoptive and blogger moms out there, ok you dads too.

What’s in a name….really?

This is a pic from last spring, that momentous time of high school graduation. This pic is of me and MJK. MJK is our other daughter, in so many ways. She was an exchange student who lived with us for almost two years. From Korea. She became part of our family, even as she has her own family in Korea as well. We consider ourselves her American Family. You can’t really have a teen girl living for years in your home, sharing a room with your preteen girl, and not live as a family. We all had to learn to live together, bridge cultural gaps and misunderstandings and customs. Bridge to each other.

Like any teen girl, she loved to shop and talk, take pictures and wanted desperately to drive! Late nights over ice cream and long discussions over the rules and beliefs of the house, hunting for the perfect dress and helping with homework….standard teen stuff. And so she grew into our family. Our family grew into her. She became our daughter in so many ways. And yet she is also more the daughter of her Korean mother and father, the granddaughter of her beloved grandmother. She is in college now, living at a Korean University. Still, we send parental advice and direction from afar. She calls us ‘mum’ and ‘dad’. We pray for each other. We probably will not live together again, though she might come here again, as a kid does when they come home for a visit. We were, or are, her legal guardians here in the states. Yet we are connected. So we name each other “family.’

Now we are about to add another child, the seventh…eighth if you count MJK. This one, hopefully will be legally ours, adopted into our family in Ethiopia next Thursday if we pass court…and then again once we return home, officially, here in the states.

And, I, being the self-indulgent mom, want to talk about my kids on this blog. And in the fantastic fun and frenzy of excitement over the passes by the families of our agency this week I have seen the photos go up, announcing the pass and the new name of these beautiful children. And these bloggers intro these celebrations using their names. Their real names. I have not yet name my children on this blog, except in nicknames.

No, really, it’s true. I didn’t REALLY name my sons Buddy Bug, or Booboo. That is not on the diploma, no kidding.

But, if I pass court next week, I really want to just SHOUT to everyone that THIS is my new son…..and use his name. His real name. I don’t have a good nickname yet, he hasn’t grown into one with us yet. So, there’s my dilemma.

So. I’m asking. I’ve read all the creepy reasons not to do it. I’ve seen so many in this blog family just go ahead and use real names. What’s in a name? Should I announce his name once we get the big news? (trying NOT to jump the gun w/ thinking about all this, it’s just it’s been so wonderful to see and ‘meet’ these new kids this week, blogwise). What do you think? I know one thing for sure, his name, our SON, is true.

5 thoughts on “>What’s in a name?

  1. >Hey!, I was just stopping by to say that I’d be happy to take pictures of YOUR SON (Lord willing OFFICIALLY next week!!!) when we travel. email me if you’d like. robertsfamily@mlgc.com And about the name thing …. I don’t know …. I have heard stories where it’s an issue. I guess I figure we’re not like famous or something and mostly family/friends/other adoptive families read our blog. Hhmmm …. I’m sure others have experienced things that would make them question. Sorry, no great answers for you! But I can tell you that I’ll be SO excited to hear of good news coming from your direction. Take Care!~ Shelly

  2. >I see your dilemma. It is easy to get caught up in the excitmenet of sharing about your family but also wanting to protect them. It’s tough. My husband is in the computer field and knows how easily you can become “overexposed”. We decided to use first names and try to limit other identifying information. I find myself on other blogs wanting to know more about them, see more pictures but understand why it is not there. Perhaps that concern of overexposure is different between domestic and international adoption(?). No easy answers. I guess you need to do what is best for you and your family. I actually like your nicknames for your children:).I have been thinking about you all week anticipating your court day on Thursday. I know it must be an anxious and exciting time. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.Rebecca

  3. >Your court date is right around the corner. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you will pass with flying colors and be on your way to packing! I can’t wait to meet your little boy in person! I will send warm wishes his way on your behalf… Hang in there.

  4. >This is such a good question.I never even thought about the safety issues with blogging about our lives until after I was pretty far into our blog. I guess it’s my naive view of the world, assuming there are only good, decent people out there and not creeps who would stalk me or my children. If I were able to do it again, I might only use first names, but oh well.

  5. >i probably am not a good one to reply because we are an open book … i guess if it were a domestic adoption i would be much more cautious … i say shout it because for the most part everyone is family here in blogger world and are their to cheer, encourage and pray … your family is so beautiful and i love the nick names …

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