>Why adopt? again?

>Ok, people ask. Why adopt? And again?

So you can have Christmas mornings like this.

And every other day too.

Yes, it’s messy.
In so many ways and levels.

But it’s also glorious. In so many ways and levels.

Because even though it, adoption, is in many ways, a
wildly selfish thing to do – because we WANT another child, want to feel them in our arms and kiss them and feel their chubby arms around our necks and have them fall asleep on our chests so we can take a nap too……even so, it is a thing that we are called to do. All of us, in one way or another. To care for each other, in the ways that we can.

We are all the church, the Body of Christ and we are made to take care of each other. These little ones need us and we need them. We need each other. For different reasons maybe, but for nothing less than that. We need each other. Kids need and deserve a family . I am made to be mom and my kids are made to care for their brothers and sisters. We are made for each other. We are called to each other.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t think everyone is called to adopt. But everyone is called to care. We all do that, of course, in different ways. And adoption doesn’t solve the world’s problems. Our adoption in Ethiopia in no way solves the problems that are there. Our adoptions here in the states didn’t solve any of the problems here. But, adoption is one way to make a tiny ripple of difference.

And, adoption did bring this family together in what we believe was part of a plan that is bigger than us. Someone said once to me, “I guess it must have something to do with your beliefs.” Um, yes.

I believe this boy was meant to be my son. My first born, 18 years ago. {yes, he’s the tall boy in yellow shirt in Christmas shot above, yes, time flies!}

I also believe this boy, my Little Man, was meant to be my son and is just as much so as the first one, above, and the four others in between them.

So, why adopt? The first time? And again? First it was because we had always talked about adoption as an option and something we knew we might pursue. Then, it was because we were finally ready to pay attention to JPII’s theology of the body and being open to life, in all manner and form.

Because we couldn’t let the idea of it go…..God nudged and nagged, chased us down.

Then we did. We adopted our first, a tiny little new baby girl, then another (ok, and another)……Then we realized the most important idea in the world, to us:

Love is a verb.

Love is not a warm feeling, all fluttery and gushy, except sometimes. Love is not being loved back. In no way is it a hallmark card.

Love is doing. No matter what.

{Now, you probably know all this already but I told you I am a slow learner, didn’t I?}
And the cool thing is – when you do for someone…when you walk the floors w/ a crying baby that won’t stop, when you hold a sick kid w/ a fever or bad dreams, when you make yourself get out of bed, again, for the fifth or sixth time that night to go soothe them, when they pee on you, when they ask you for another cup of juice, again….well, you do it. And that brings love. That is love. And there is the bond. It doesn’t matter then how they came to you. You love them. They are yours and you are theirs. You are a family.

So, not to go on, but it comes up so often, especially now, when we are adopting again and our family is getting large – larger than is comfortable for the average American. People look at us sideways like we might be a little bit nuts. And maybe we are. But in the best way. And often they say “Gee, shouldn’t you be done by now? Why are you adopting?” Well, because we can, fortunately. Because we want to. Because long ago we realized we needed and wanted to be open to all the kids God chose to send us.

And send them He does, no one else.

And it is a little crazy maybe.
And it is messy.
And tiring at times.

But it is glorious.

And that is the answer to why we adopt. Again.

7 thoughts on “>Why adopt? again?

  1. >Let me just say how much I enjoy your blog! You should have started it a long time ago! This was such a beautiful post. I think I smiled through the whole read. It is DIVINE that we were all put on this earth together. It is DIVINE that we were made to be companions to each other. It is DIVINE that we have been given the ability to love and to be loved. It is certainly DIVINE this family that you have created/are creating. I promise if I ever look at you sideways it is because I see a family whose love knows no boundaries or limitations. Rebecca

  2. >I just found your blog as I was surfing this am. What a blessing to read this post. You said it so well. We have 4 bios and are waiting to go get our two (6 yrs and 4 mos) in Ethiopia. I look forward to following along.

  3. >my friend emily who commented above sent me your site .. all i can say is AMEN SISTER … we have 2 bio and 2 adopted and praying to start the process to Ethiopia and bring home two more angels … I have a favor to ask … can you check out my blog … God has lead me to write a book about people’s stories of adoption (i just know that is how God is going to fund our next adoption)… I have meet the most amazing people and their adoption stories are changing me … I would love for you to contribute any part of your story if you like ..(I have 27 contributors already Praise the Lord). oatsvallteam.blogspot.com or reach me at s.oatsvall@comcast.net

  4. Hi, I like your blog! We’re starting the journey of adoption, waiting for the referral of our 3 to 4 year old daughter from Ecuador, to add to our family of a 14 year old (my step daughter) and our 4 year old (my biological daughter, born at 24 weeks). Thanks for sharing your experience… I will rely on all these experienced adoptive families to help us through!


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