Yeah, I cried to see him when he walked in. That was no surprise…
Oh yeah, it’s my son’s birthday today. My Chris. My Brother Peter Joseph.
He’s 22. Read that again – he’s 22!!! Just. Wow.
So, he won’t see this post…which means I can write anything…he he he. I mean I could tell about that time with the lasso, the marshmallows, and the cat….kidding. Nothing happened!
Really, it’s a little weird honestly, what do I say? He won’t see it, and my little birthday posts are really for the bday kid..a little extra way to shout to the world that I love them. But, for me now, I’m still gonna shout to the world that I love him. So, if you will, indulge me a minute.
I am so proud of this young man. He went from being my firstborn son, the baby that wouldn’t really open his eyes for a few days, kept them squinched up tight despite my nudging (Yes, I tortured them from the beginning)…to this amazing young man who sees more clearly than most.
I remember being SO very scared the day he was born. He was breech and big and didn’t wanna flip so he was c-section and I was scared. They told me it was time for the epidural, I saw the humungous needle and said “I’m not ready yet! Just give me some time, maybe come back in a few hours…” (Actually, I said this every time, except when I was already in labor with Jon, then I think I might’a cussed at the doc who told me to stay still during a contraction so he could insert that needle…but that’s a whole ‘nother story…). But, he did end up being safely delivered and I remember as clear as day just marveling at the wonder of this boy, a boy! And just being blown away and a little (ok, a lot) overwhelmed by the muchness of it all and by his perfect little head and the whole gig, the smell feel touch all of it. Gobsmacked. Totally.
And now, once again, I am kind of blown away, and have been of late, by the muchness of it all. As you all know if you’ve been following this past six months.
But isn’t that just what it is supposed to be? Isn’t that just what being a mom, ok a parent (I’m not leaving you out Coffeedoc!), is all about? I think so. We should be blown away by the muchness of it all. And sometimes we forget to do it. And birthdays are the day and the time that we should step back and consider and observe the arc of it all so we can remember, yes, remember the muchness of it all.
So, today, I can’t put my arms around my son….but I’m saving those hugs up, with interest. And I hope to have him call and hear us sing, badly, the Happy Birthday Song to him. And yes, we will even eat cake to celebrate. And yes, I made four cakes to send to the Novitiate House, plus one for us too here, (and two for his brother and roomies, sshhhh, a surprise). Yeah, are you counting, that’s seven cakes I made. Now THAT”S life in a big family. And now, my son has brought me more, more sons that I send cakes.
This one was first. He began our status as “family” instead of just “couple.” Now Brother Peter Joseph, my firstborn son, is expanding our family to include the Dominican family and it’s awesome. And we miss him. And we love him. And today we send him a spiritual bouquet of prayers for his birthday. And, ever, I marvel at the muchness of it all and of this young man. My boy.
Happy Birthday my Chris, my Brother Peter Joseph. We love you so.